This is the diary of a woman human being. It is about living (the ups and the many, many downs) outside societal expectations. Must women have babies just because they have the equipment? I didn’t.

Do I feel any less for it? No. Was it the right decision for me? Yes. Do I think it was the right decision for any child I might have had – Oh. My. God. Yes! Poor potential mites.

Anne Pank* is 50. She is a woman. She has a head, two arms and two legs. She is fairly normal. She is divorced (many, MANY – maybe even a thousand years ago). She is a single mum of none but courtesy aunt to four girls and seven boys. She loves her family and friends and life. She is happy (sometimes/more or less).

No kids?! Shit off!

Ms Pank** is an English language teacher living in Barcelona. She arrived here via a journalism degree from London, several temping jobs including sitting in a cupboard at the Clothes Show production office, staring at a computer screen for hours in a basement somewhere near Buckingham Palace, stuffing envelopes at Fuji headquarters, assisting the Beauty Editor of Company Magazine and Clothes Show Magazine and blagging her way into London Fashion week, Fall/Winter ’95, with a film crew. Later, a temp position as a receptionist at a medical PR company led to 18-months of freelance writing work producing a bi-weekly medical press report for the pharmaceutical industry – with absolutely NO medical experience whatsoever (don’t mention it to anyone).

After four years working as an event producer in Canary Wharf and a close encounter with a psychopathic CEO of a large, international banking organisation that shall remain nameless, she moved to Liverpool to manage an international Jazz Festival and Comedy Festival for the local authority, which she did lovingly until 2011 when austerity cuts were imposed by David Cameron and his cronies after the Conservatives won the election of 2010 – of which she was one. She swiftly retrained and bought a one-way ticket to BCN after an old and dear friend offered to put a roof over her head until she got herself on her feet.

After too long in the dark, unrecognised as a PANK, she has now decided to come out, loud and proud, chat shit and share with the world (whether it wants it or not) her extensive experiences of being a woman without ^says in hushed voice^ children. Join hands and say it with me fellow PANKS, “Kids are cool but I am in absolutely no fit state or responsible enough by any stretch of the imagination to have don’t want my own! I AM A PANK, I AM PROUD!”

Anne Pank

*Anne Pank is a character/pseudonym/nom de plume

**PANK = Professional, Aunt, No kids. The acronym came to prominence at the end of 2013 when a flurry of articles surfaced addressing the growing number of childless women, formerly, and may I say, adorably known as ‘SPINSTER AUNTS‘.

© 2014 TheSecretDiaryOfAnnePank