It should be noted that, I have always been a big believer of being completely on your own, at some point in your life, for a substantial amount of time. And NO, that doesn’t mean just over the weekend, after being dumped on Friday. But then I would say that, I’ve spent the best part of my life after twenty eight, single.
Apart from the two years with the Mexican and six months with Temper Tantrum Twinkle Toes last year, ( oh! And the boy who went AWOL ), there have been a few weeks, a couple of months, a day or two, here and there.
And so, we reach the beginning of June and I feel lighter, ( stands side-on, holds out giant man-free pants to illustrate success ), calmer and generally, just in bloody love with life.
Stress. Free. And; there is something devilishly satisfying about watching a man’s face crumple in confusión, when you knock him back for no better reason than, ” I can’t be bothered.”
Attractive enough man (M): Hi, I haven’t seen you here before.
Annie P (AP): Well, I come here often.
AP: Yes. *smiles sweetly
M: *shuffles feet, Can I buy you a drink
AP: Thank you, that would be nice.
M/AP: small talk, chit chat, some bullsh*t, small talk, chatter, yada, yada.
*20 minutes later
M: Can I maybe take you out?
AP: Umm, no thank you.
M: Oh. You are married?
M: You have a boyfriend?
M :(*thinks “she must be a lesbian“)
AP: (*thinks “and no, I am not a lesbian“)
M: Are you very busy?
AP: Not especially.
M: *face starts to collapse, cogs crank into action, (does not compute), a little amount of steam can be seen rising from the engine overheating.
AP: *Little internal chuckle to self.
M: Um, OK.
AP: Enjoy your evening. *smiles sweetly.
M: left standing looking confounded.
It’s been a great few months. Just about me, my friends, family and work. I realised I was starting to bore myself with my endless stories of random, crazy, crap men/dating. And if I’m boring me, I sure as Hell am boring everyone else in the whole wide world.
So, we are happy, content, calm and peaceful…….. then BAM! A mega-crush, on a scale not witnessed since your final year in secondary school, on the Rugby team captain, comes out of the blue and completely blindsides you.
On a wholly inappropriate person.
Holy CR*P Batman.