As you know, I’ve never been the maternal type, I’ve never experienced the yearning/calling/longing/choir of cherubs (is that a thing?). And the only time my tubes have actually twitched, was that fleeting moment in pattern-cutting class, just before big Jen passed out and cracked her face open – and in the company of one or two breathtakingly beautiful men I’ve met, throughout my lifetime. The closest I usually come to that gut reaction, is if there’s chocolate cake involved. But, I do know plenty of women who had the ‘pull’, some of whom had known they wanted children from a really young age.

You know also, how sometimes couples do a dry run, as it were, before committing to a lifetime of worry and debt…… and of course love, LOVE – with say a kitten or a puppy? Well, I happen to think that is a marvellous idea, because it gives you pause for thought and a little taste of what it’s like to keep something alive; kind of like me and my plants. – big cheesy grin –

But for me, I think I’m currently experiencing this process in reverse. I would love a dog. Like, love, love, LOVE. There are so many here in Barcelona, my favourite at the moment in my street, being a harlequin dane of such epic proportions – that I’m sure we could use him to recreate that puddle ripples scene in Jurassic Park, for shits and giggles. Of course that size of commitment is well beyond my capabilities. Not only that, I imagine it costs four times as much to feed him as me and when he was in the flat – I’d have to take a sleeping bag onto the balcony, to accommodate him inside. No, for me it would have to be something significantly smaller. StreetArtGlobe published an Artfido article earlier in the year, of doggy do-overs which was both ridiculous and delightful in equal measures. It was while flicking through this pooch gallery, that I felt what I believe to be the equivalent of that maternal draw….

Rocco before

Rocco after

One look at *Rocco’s little ‘after’ face, so delighted with his sassy quiff, and I was done. I think I actually fell in love. I mean come on, would you look at that face! I haven’t stopped thinking about pups since, and being surrounded by them every day you step out the front door, is not helping. The thing is though, I want a dog so much, that I’ve started looking at children and thinking ‘aaaaawww’; like maybe I could practise with one of those first. Seriously, what is that all about? It’s back to front, body! It’s not supposed to be that way around. And seriously Mother Nature, if you were going to try and pull that one, it should’ve been twenty-odd years ago. As my lady innards now slowly wind down, maybe it is her last ditch attempt to trick me into believing there is, after all, a mother in me. Well let me tell you something Ma – my lavender frazzled to death and my jasmine is just about hanging in there; so take it from me – you do not want to trust me with any human being baby.

So, I need to try again with the plants, check the contract and see what the sitch is regarding pets. Rein in the spending to put aside a pet pot and investigate adoption in the area. Can you even imagine?! Me, responsible for something that is not well, me!

But then, I am popping up to Tossa at the weekend, going to Portugal and Germany before Christmas and then Blighty. I can accept the invitation of an afterwork without hesitation, paint all weekend without leaving the flat and stay in bed until eleven when I want, spend a little on a massage or a laser facial, aaaaaannndddd……… we’re back!

*Rocco grooming by Patricia Sugihara