Slowly quickly urgent fear: the Covid months pt. 14

It feels like an age since my birthday post. A little more than a month has passed since I turned fifty and I haven’t written anything here because I’ve been panic signing up for and participating in every writing and art course, workshop or IGLive/Zoom event available in a desperate bid to give myself purpose. […]

Ah crap, I’m (almost) fifty: the Covid months pt. 13

This time next week I will be fifty. This ⬆️ is as close as I ever want photos to be from now until beyond forever. A selfie, through two lenses from the shoulders up and always, always, ALWAYS in black and white. Apart from that, far from melting down about it, I am just overwhelmingly […]

Thrifty Fifty New year Dance: the Covid months, pt. 11

So, 2021 is here. Not much different to 2020, is it? And that is why I don’t do New Year’s Eve. On any regular year I’m not a big fan of la nochevieja as it always feels so hopeful and I’m always gutted when I don’t wake up in my thirties, in my own masía […]

2020 End of Year Review: the Covid months, pt. 10

Aaahhh, remember the Dolly Parton Challenge 160 years ago? That was fun. I posted —>>>> on the 1st January on Instagram and, as they say over on the Twitter, ‘this aged well’. It was the year I bought a beautiful pair of Mary Janes that will never see the light of day now that my […]

Bailey’s podcast PJs sleep: the Covid months, pt. 9

I am ready for the Christmas break. I feel like I need to sleep for a week. Bearing in mind I’ve spent the best part of this year in pyjamas, this seems strange. I’ve become obsessed with pjs. The only clothing I’m interested in is pyjamas, the only thing I am vaguely stoked to look […]

Chat maths equestrian dick: the Covid months, pt. 4

‘Uff, yes, this year has been terrible. Especially for a man like me, who is very sexual.’ In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, ^Big sigh. Huge^. I may be paraphrasing. Yes. Yes, I’m absolutely sure it’s been an awful time for *checks notes* your penis. Just remind me, this is 2020, right? […]

Jobless Sleepless Pantless Cake: the Covid months, pt.1

Well, I don’t think any of us can deny, it’s been a wild ride. Sitting with two friends in a cafe in London, back in January, there was much talk of new clients, new contracts and full diaries. Even after many, many years of saying, ‘let’s never say again, “this is going to be the […]

International Women’s (Richard Herring) Day 2020

So, here we are again and it’s a sad day indeed…… Richard Herring has announced that this will be his last year of searching out the lazy men of Twitter who can’t be arsed to do a quick Google search, prefer to bemoan International Women’s Day and ask, ‘but when is oooouur day?’, and doggedly […]

Feb 14, 2020

Another day, another dollar. Or: another year, another day of somewhat forced reflection as to why I’m still single and not being awoken with a big fat portion of Instagrammable love. You know, a kiss and a coffee and a pain au chocolat flown in from Paris all the while looking forward to a day […]

To do list – 2020

• Marry an EU National. The end . . . . Only joking. About the ‘the end’ bit. Obvs. The marriage bit – notsamuch….. Otherwise this would qualify as the shortest (shittest) post I’ve ever written. This is not up for debate. Nobody seems to be taking me seriously. I’ve been tentatively tabling the idea […]