Reasons why I don’t have kids #26

I am prone to extreme exaggeration…… and I quote, “So all consumed am I, by this overwhelming exhaustion “, see Reasons why I don’t have kids #25.  (In actual fact, I’m a little tired.)  My poor children would have no concept of reality.

They would perpetually be ‘starving’, they would be ‘besides themselves with delight’ about clean pyjamas and soap that smells nice and doesn’t make their eyes sting, they would go around ‘loving’ things, like mash potato and soil – actually, it’s true to say I really DO love mash potato-(see what I mean?)

Turbantastic! Turbantastic!

They would ‘utterly despise’ homework and mummy’s turbans, they would be ‘desperately mortified’, that mummy wore said turban to their school open day.

Thinking on, that last one is probably close to reality and not exaggerated at all.

And the other kids would think they were weird and suggest they join the drama group, and they would respond, “Oh my GOD, that is the most amazing idea anyone has ever had in the whole wide world, like EVER“.

And the other kids would exchange knowing glances and raise their eyes to the Heavens.


And that is my ‘reasons why I don’t have kids’ #26


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