OK people, it’s about time this PANK pulled herself the Hell together, and dragged her crush-addled head right out of her arse…….
All-consuming crush, on unrealistic target has distracted me long enough to interfere with my otherwise tidy and uncomplicated life (read; brain). Having today realised I may have f*cked up some travel plans, I’m plenty annoyed with myself for allowing myself to be swept up in something so completely and utterly ridiculous. Emotional control freak, moi? Yes, yes I am. There, I said it. I hate letting my heart rule my head, for exactly this reason.
That doesn’t mean that the feelings have subsided, (well, maybe a little), it just means that they’ve been gathered up, tied neatly with red ribbon and stored in a conveniently handy place, stamped with the words, “Use with caution, handle with care and follow the instructions“. This is precisely why I keep men at arm’s length, they mess with your mind people. Although, I do take full responsibility for the pickle, after all, it’s me that’s in charge of my head and the things that I do and the things that I say.
*sigh……I suppose it IS good to know this cynical old bird still has a heart, and it IS good to know she is capable of feeling anything other than suspicion and mistrust, but really? Must it always be with someone wholly unsuitable? And to the point of utter distraction? (Though truth be told, that exact thing hasn’t happened for quite a number of years).
Note: that question is completely hypothetical actually, I’m really just thinking aloud. But thank you, if you were pondering one of life’s great mysteries.
And so to try and undo the cock-up, find the information, re-book, or whatever needs to be done and get a good, firm grip (strangle hold) on these feelings and regain at least a modicum of that steely, PANKy control.