I am

Spartacus, Jesus.

One of the most profound things that happened while I was enjoying my wonderful Paris weekend, was the discovery that I am Lady Jesus.  Who knew?  This revelation happened quite by chance while my host and I were chatting about life, love and the wider world in a ‘interesting’ fusion café that served chicken curry spaghetti, on the Sunday afternoon (coincidence?  I think not) before I returned to Barcelona.  Take note.

Also doubles as wishing star

Also doubles as wishing star

I was explaining a little about my background; that I was born in Australia, in the outback, in a cattle shed, surrounded by bovine, it was the 70s 80s, so it was still very primitive and poor, my parents had travelled many miles to arrive there, they were some of the ’10 Pound Poms’ who travelled from Britain on Government sponsored tickets.  The night sky was also particularly impressive this night and you could see the prominent star of the Piscis Austrinus constellation perfectly clearly.  And after the birth there were wise men (doctors probably, but very wise doctors)….. BAM!  This story had been recounted by my parents time and time again and I had never, ever made the connection.  If it had not been for the hot Frenchie’s razor-sharp observational skills, and thank God (Dad) he’s so smart, I’d still be none-the-wiser and would still be mooching about the planet in the manner of a mere mortal without knowledge of this specialness.  Also, this would offer up a reasonable and obvious explanation as to why I possess the capacity to do brain magic.  Duh……. Of course, now it all makes  sense.

So, you’ll understand why, when I heard that the hideous and odious Katie Hopkins had claimed this week that she is like Jesus, I was more than a little upset, because she is a really hateful pig and nothing at all like me.

Katie Hopkins, I put this to you:

Were you born in a poor, primitive place? – NO

Were you born in a barn in said poor, primitive place? – NO

Were there cows at your birth (or any other farmyard creatures)?  Chinchillas and/or thoroughbred ponies do not count. – NO

Were there wise men post birth? – POSSIBLY.  But were they were wearing cork hats – NO

Can you do brain magic? – NO

I rest my case.  You are full of sh*t Katie, but I forgive you (because that’s my job).  Bless you.

*I promise to the whole, wide world to do good things with my Jesus-ness and brain magic.


3 thoughts on “I am

  1. Pingback: 2015, the year that was…. | The Secret Diary of Anne Pank

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