If I was Russell Brand’s aunt

I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have well and truly reached yours. Fingers on lips, while […]

A word to the wise

(or inately stupid). Justin Bieber, just because you have a big tattoo of me on your calf does not mean your recent behaviour is forgiven.  I like this particular representation of myself, it just so happens, Ecce Homo by Rubens from 1610, and  I am very flattered you wanted my face on your person.  But; you and […]

This funk is messin’ with my brain magic man

To say I’m seriously miffed would be an understatement.  I am seriously miffed about the fact that it would appear I have to be perpetually f*cking happy in order for the brain magic and Jesús-ness to work.  B*llocks to that, it ain’t gonna happen.  I’ve discovered this devastating fact during the course of this week, as […]

Thought for the day

Sometimes PANKs are tired and a bit sad and can’t think of anything amusing to say. That is all. **No sleep is probably a contributing factor to temporary loss of humour and happiness OR maybe the heavy burden of super Godliness, not sure. (normal service will resume shortly.)

Thought for the day #2

Maybe, just maybe, I need to stop with the Jesus thing, problems are already starting, just as I predicted.   I knew they would.  There might have been a very, very small incident with a laying on of hands in the Metro this afternoon that could have got me arrested……. *By the way, I forgot to mention […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #11

Because I am Lady Jesus and just look at what happened the first time I was around, walking the Earth and doing goodness to and for all.  Anyone connected to me was doubted, chased, persecuted, whipped, killed etc. etc.  I could go on….. terrible times.  I feel really bad about it. Now, knowing what it’s like to […]

I am

Spartacus, Jesus. One of the most profound things that happened while I was enjoying my wonderful Paris weekend, was the discovery that I am Lady Jesus.  Who knew?  This revelation happened quite by chance while my host and I were chatting about life, love and the wider world in a ‘interesting’ fusion café that served chicken curry spaghetti, on […]