You have to be possessing of great big, fat coj*nes to email ‘happy birthday’ as a warmer to the following conversation:
FP (Flaccid p*nis from two years ago, of the ‘About those p*nises’ post fame): Xxxxxx cxxxxxxx
Felicidades
AP (me): Gracias
FP: Hi, how are you?
I am in U…………
missing you
AP: Are you sure?!? How long in U………
I’m very well
FP: Just for 2 week
I was dreaming on you
AP: Weierd!
weird!
FP: Not weird, hot
Dont pay me attention. I am just looking for casual sex with you. But I know you dont want that. (obviously didn’t read my post on WEDNESDAY) Happy birthday!!!! Sorry I know I am late. Besos – NO. I just don’t want sex with YOU, it’s been two years.
AP: Really, you don’t know anything about what I want FP. Haha! I’m flattered you want sex with me, thank you.
For the birthday wishes. un abrazo (always polite)
Don’t forget, if you ever need any help with your work, business proposals, press releases etc. or if you want to meet for a coffee and a chat and not be an arsehole. Call me. beso *:) (never burn bridges)
* wouldn’t usually insert an emoticon, but I am quoting…….
WHAT. A. CHEEKY. F*CKING. BAST*RD. Don’t know whether I want to kick his cheeky face off or salute his audacity.
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 