Yay! It’s almost St. Valentine’s Day

*PSYCH!!  Gotcha.

It’s not that I have a problem with the day, per se, no, no, not at all.  That’s not the case one bit.  In fact, it makes me feel really great about myself.  What I tend to do on this day, is spend my time, wandering about Barcelona, (and other towns and cities I have lived in while single), smiling, looking wistful, kicking up my heels and swinging around most available trees and lamposts.  That’s quite a lot of swinging here in BCN.  But what I love to do the absolute most, is shout at the lovers, quietly having lunch/dinner, staring love into each other’s souls across tables, tenderly touching hands/faces and giving each other a very thorough medical examination of each other’s tonsils, with their tongues; “Look at ME!  Having all the fun alone.  HahahaHAaHAhahaHAHA!!!  I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away I don’t know where my soul is, I don’t know where my home is….. lalalalaLALALA.”  It’s wonderful.  And not in the slightest bit disturbing.

Valentine's overkill

Valentine’s overkill

No, not that.  What I do have a teensy, weensy issue with, is the marketeers making those poor souls in couples, feel the pressure of ten thousand fathoms – (that’s 18,000 metres to you and me. SCIENCE.  You’re welcome.) – to engage in some ostentatious show of amour, on this one day a year. They’re too busy being in love, the lovers, ain’t nobody got time for that other sh*t!  The newspapers, television, magazines, and pretty much everyone with a voice, ram all kinds of stuff down their, already full of tongue throats; including the ten most romantic restaurants, ten best gifts for her, ten best gifts for him, what lingerie to buy**, which hotel to stay in, which new open-top sports car, she’d absolutely love you forever for, if you were to buy it this week. It’s  ridiculous.  While all the while subliminally yelling to the singletons, “YOU CAN’T COME HERE, YOU ARE SINGLE.  SINGLE I TELL YOU.  SINGLE!  THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH, THAT YOU, BEING SINGLE AN’ ALL, CAN APPRECIATE THIS VIEW.  OR THIS WONDERFUL FOOD.  OR WEAR THIS CORSET.  Now, f*ck off!”

Don’t get me wrong, everyone likes a present, and if I were to be in a relationship, (wait…. hahahHAHAHAhahahaHA!), and my other half felt the urge to do something on this day, I wouldn’t scream in his face, ‘NO!’  But I wouldn’t want him to feel obligated, or under pressure in any way.  And most certainly not to buy the Agent Provocateur Yvett set, that he’d have to take out a loan for, and remortgage his house to take me to dinner in the five star restaurant with the ‘World’s most romantic view’.  (Although, I would quite like to go there.)

So, single or coupled up or dating or having all the sex with one of your mates/different people or going to sex parties, I just want to you all to have a nice day and a pleasant evening.  Do what makes you feel nice, and the people you’re with feel good.

Me?  I’m going to shout at lovers in Placa Reiel, watch P.S. I Love You on loop and get me all good ‘n’ drunk.

* I said ‘PSYCH’.  I deserve not to be loved

** Simple, never buy lingerie.  The men’s idea of sexy, and the women’s idea of sexy, are very, VERY different.


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