….. to me, ‘you seem to have very fixed ideas‘, I will kick them so f*cking hard in their crown jewels, they’ll have to start thinking with the brain that lives in their head.

In these last three months, I have felt the pressure to just simply keep my mouth firmly shut, more than I have ever noticed in my entire forty-six years of life. So, like so many people have shut me up, shut me down, put their hand in my face to stop me speaking (both literally and metaphorically), put their face in my face, shouted me down, shouted over me, told me their opinions, then said they don’t want to hear mine, said that ‘they don’t want to argue any more’, when the last word I spoke to them in disagreement was a month previous.

What, the actual fuck, is it? Seriously. It’s a real question, for real answers.

So, I was chatting to one of the only two guys I kept in touch with from the dating sites, about possibly meeting on Sunday. He made a suggestion. Cool. I made a suggestion – cue the ‘you seem to have very fixed ideas‘ comment. What!!?? Like: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?

He said we could spend some hours walking and then have a drink….. for a first date, that’s too much commitment of both time and effort. What if it’s horrific? So my response was simply, ‘well, how do you fancy enjoying the sun and meeting for a coffee this time, and see how it goes?’ *INSERT FIXED IDEAS COMMENT HERE*

Am I not mistaken, there are two people in this situation, aren’t there? Or am I quite literally going mad? Do we no longer toss around a few ideas? Or am I only just realising, that agreeing with a man is the only way forward in the world? Even on such a trivial level…..

Imagine if organising a girls’ night out was the same level of ‘JeeZUS WOHman, you got the opinions’! On any given night out, there could be a minimum of five of us. We’d never leave the fucking house!! What is it????

Back the fuck up man, just chucking my hat in…. lighten up.

I am quite literally sick to the back teeth of it. I have ideas, I have opinions, nothing fucking crazy, this is 2018. What do you actually want??

I get it, picture this, if I say, “well, I thought that we can meet at five minutes to four, to have five minutes to decide which direction to start the walking at precisely four pm. I will wear my stylish loafers which are also comfortable, in order to walk around a little bit, then after two hours of walking and chatting, I will definitely want to sit at a cafe and I will have a glass of cava while we flick through the pages of some wedding magazines (that I had hidden in my bag), set a date and GET MARRIED ON JULY 14th 2019!!”. Those are fixed freaking ideas, mate.

I don’t want to walk around parks, because I need the squares of paving slabs to feel comfortable – that’s a fixed idea.

I need to pray to Jesus and ask for his forgiveness, before I even do the thing that needs forgiving – that’s a fixed idea.

‘Fancy a coffee in the sun?’ is a FUCKING suggestion.

Damn!

*Maybe I should leave the dating for a little while……. I think I might feel up to it (learn to shut up) by 2027.