Category Archives: Blog

Inherited hang-ups

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I remember very clearly, a time when my dad told me off for having airs and graces.  I was round about thirteen years old, I was in the kitchen with him and mum chatting and I asked for a Nice biscuit, (as in the city of Nice in southern France).  My dad thought I had asked for a […]

If I was Luis Suárez aunt, I’d…

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call him up and say, ” Listen Chops, what are you playing at, for the love of the Holy Mother of Sweet Baby Jesus??!!”  And I wouldn’t actually give him a chance to answer,  continuing, “What happened the last time you bit your Uncle Jose at the family barbecue in May, hey, remember?? Hm, hm?” […]

***Crush watch***crush watch***

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It’s been some days since I dropped the bombshell that I am experiencing a seismic *crush, on an actual, real life human being.  I mean, it’s not that I usually have crushes on dogs, structures or kettles (it happens, watch the documentary about the Berlin Wall/Eiffel Tower/horse in the mid West……), what I mean is, that this person […]

Get me a baby!

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And get it quick!  Otherwise I am going to self – combust/implode/explode/go on a murderous rampage; or more likely, die in a pool of my own vomit, *living in a shared flat, with no hope for the future, in the not too distant future. Thank the good Lord above/ Odin/Buddha/Aphrodite/Brahma/the Universe, for husbands and babies.  If it […]

The World Cup is

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almost upon us and I am really rather excited about it (believe it or not).  As a Brit, at times like this, I support any and every team from these fair isles, we are after all, the United Kingdom.  And as a fellow Brit (if you’re reading this) I know you’ll completely understand the masochistic […]

Thought for the day

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What kind of idiotic c*ck, doesn’t label their bags for a flight/or register them for the hold, in these uber – sensitive times? I’ll tell you who, the c*cks*cker sitting three rows in front of me,  who’s succeeded in delaying my f*cking flight…….. (You may well be able to imagine my raging internal tourettes right now. […]