(Geordie accent here.)

Day 15 in the Dry January house.

*Anne is in the bedroom.

10:00 am.  Anne has been reflecting on the night before.  “Ah man, I could have well done a cheeky little cava at tango last night.”

10:06 am.  Anne is still in the bedroom, still reflecting on the night before.  “I really could have gone a cava last night.”

10:12 am.  Anne is lying on the bed thinking about cava.

10:15 am.  Anne is in the bathroom looking at her skin in the mirror, from the right.

“I think I might actually be spottier.”

10:19 am.  Anne is still looking at her skin in the mirror, from the left.  She is shaking her head.

10:43 am.  Anne is in the bedroom, standing by the wardrobe thinking about cava.

10:47 am.  Anne is looking at her ar*e in the mirror.  She is shaking her head and thinking about cava.

11:00 am.  Anne is in the shower, in the bathroom.  She is washing her hair, imagining she is Mariah Carey, washing it in Cristal champagne.

11:30 am.  Anne is in the bedroom imagining being so rich that she can also dab Cristal behind her ears, in the crook of her elbow and behind her knees after bathing, because that’s what Mariah Carey would probably do.  Anne says to herself that she thinks this would smell bad.

11:45 am.  Anne is in the kitchen, standing quietly in front of the open fridge door, looking at the bottle of cava that is there.

11:47 am.  Anne decides to update her blog and returns to the bedroom.

11:49 am.  Anne starts writing about thinking about cava……..