You had me at “I like David Icke”

I was excited to hear he was a David Bowie fan. Finally something we had in common we could chat about…. an hour had passed in which I had heard that the ‘actor’ didn’t accept acting work because it’s basically ‘whoring yourself’, that he ‘liked his own (one block) circle’, hadn’t been in anything I […]

Things I have (and have not) done whilst under the influence

Soooooo, Roseanne Barr flip-flopped on leaving Twitter (one can only assume based on some sort of legal advice), and has returned within about twenty-four hours, with the pathetic excuse; the Ambien made me do it. Let’s just take a moment to dissect this….. actually, let’s not. The racist thoughts are in your head and the […]

Salad days

I do believe I’ve lost the will to drink.  No.  Really…..  After my first foray into the darker side of life (the pub with mates to watch the inaugural match of the Six Nations tournament), after five weeks on the wagon, I realised: I can’t do it, I don’t like it, and it most definitely […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #46

I’m a bit of a lush.  If there’s an opportunity to drink, I will. Brunch?  Fantastic, I’ll have a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa.  Thanks.  Lunch with friends; wine.  Dinner with friends; wine.  Date?  Bit of Dutch courage, glass of fizz while choosing something to wear.  Night out with the girls, fizz to get us […]

2014, the year that was…..

…. a bit of a party. So, as I pack for green and pleasant lands, I can reflect on the year that was, and look forward to the year that will be.  With, I have to say, a little twinge of excitement.  Keep it on the down low, I think it’s going to be a good […]

So……… this arrived yesterday

from one of my best friends, so it’s safe to say, she knows me well enough to send it and know that: a) it’s absolutely representative of times we’ve shared, so 100% justified b) that I wouldn’t be offended (and c) that at some point, I have actually looked exactly like the drunken whore on the right, all curly […]

NNnnnnnnooooooo………

Well……………………… actually; a short, sharp YES!!!!! + fist pump (I suppose) Finally, in my 39th (official age for the rest of my life) year, it appears I have grown up, become boring and sensible and will soon be acquiring a pipe, donning the weird, tartan slippers of old men and wearing Fair Isle cardigans.  All while 1. stroking […]

and the countdown begins!

to loTs of ThinGS!  OVer ExciTED, ME!??!?!?!  YAY!  Whoop….. (just a little) So, tomorrow is the final day of Dry January, firstly.  During this month I have been out a couple of times with the girls and had nothing-but realised I still feel 100% perfectly comfortable and at ease talking about penis galleries, flaccid penises and shadow […]