Reasons why I don’t have kids #10

I never met a man I looked at and thought “I have such a huge, aching love for you inside me that the only way possible to illustrate the strength of that is to have your baby.  I want your baby, I love you that much.” Which is kind of how I imagined you would know you were […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #1

I like to sleep.  This is a valid reason. I like to sleep a lot.  And lie in at the weekend. And go out until the wee small hours with no military operation and added expense of organising sitters/overnight carers/surrogate mothers (or fathers.  No sexism here).  I like siestas when I’ve got a couple of hours […]

Happy International Women’s Day!

OR: Wimmin, as I like to say. So, our baps ROCK! This we’ve already established, and also that they are on a similar scale to nuclear weapons, but in a really good way, and because of this have the potential to save the world.  But is that really so impressive?  So tell me really, what else is so bloody great […]

Hurrah – the magic is back, boo – impending birthday

Hurrah – the magic is back, boo – impending birthday. Hurrah – the magic is back, boo – impending birthday. Hurrah – the magic is back, boo – impending birthday. Hurrah – the magic is back, boo – impending birthday. My ability to do brain magic  again, slightly outweighs the stress of each approaching birthday […]

The latest beauty b*llsh*t

So I’ve made an appointment to have my knee-caps shaved because they’re a bit too prominent and they’re ruining the aesthetic of my legs.  Honestly, what’s a girl to with these impractical, protruding bones? And thinking of impractical protruding bones, I think my ankles are not quite in the right place so in the summer, […]

French women DO get fat – hurrah!! (it says so in the Guardian)

So, you know the image of the perfect French woman, all chic and slim and cool and chic and slim and cool and stuff…… multiply it by infinity and add a dash of dismissive arrogance, then you’ve got my pre-conceived idea of a typical Parisienne.  And so the thought of going to a city full of these Stepford standard automatons […]