Piglet had become very nervous indeed

Because there is inevitably going to come a day when you are going to have to explain to your children, who have returned from school with a thousand questions about #piggate #hameron; why the *Prime Minister of the country you live in/or herald from, may or may not have inserted his penis into the mouth of a dead pig.

And they are going to say, “but whyyyyyy?” accompanied by puzzled faces, a thousand times until you dissolve into a sobbing heap, hold your head in your hands and reply, “I DON’T KNOW, ALRIGHT!!! It’s something even the magic of mummy, can’t explain.” While all the while, fighting the urge to confuse their young heads with myriad conspiracy theories about news burying.

*This is right up there in the top five ‘Things you never thought you’d hear yourself say’.

And that is my ‘reasons why I don’t have kids #43’

(It is worth noting that ALL of my students had seen the story by 8am, and found it both hilarious, and David Cameron laughable.) HOW can he ever be taken seriously again.

He is a national embarrassment.