It’s a long one, strap in……. What. A. Decade. This time, ten years ago I was living with a man, managing a jazz festival in the north west of England and anticipating my oncoming forties with all the dread of a fever dream in which you are frozen to the spot as a juggernaut heads […]
BY ALL THE POWERS OF GRAYSKULL!!! What a year it’s been….. Firstly and most significantly – maybe – this is the year I became a born-again virgin. What?! It’s a thing, alright. And guess what I didn’t do. That’s right, rampage around trying to shoot/mow down groups of men, because I felt rejected and impotent. […]
Hey guys! Look, you’ve got a day! You’ve had a celebratory day since 1992! Isn’t that something? If you type ‘International Men’s Day‘ into Google (or any other popular search engine), it’s like, right there. As quick and easy as typing the same thing on Twitter on International Women’s Day on March 8th, if not […]
Well…… I’ll be. Even I haven’t been able to act the clown I usually am, and make funnies these last few (very significant) months. This has proven a problem for someone who mostly writes about nonsense and shenanigans – oh, and not being a mother. (Which for me, are in fact intrinsically linked). The world’s […]
What an epic year it’s been. For all the wrong reasons. For starters, I think we might have seen some of the Grim Reaper’s finest work. EVER. He got super slashy with the old scythe, over-enthusiastically mowing down: Prince, David Bowie, Victoria Wood, Robert Vaughn, Leonard Cohen, Pete Burns, Jean Alexander, Gene Wilder, Caroline Aherne, […]
In the last couple of weeks I have experienced a pretty surprising couple of contretemps in my Twitter timeline. This is a first for me. But, not one to shy away from confrontation, if it’s warranted, I faced them head on in a virtual sparring match. Interestingly, both conflabs were with (for the most part, […]
So, we’re a week into 2016 already, and it feels like any other year, right? WRONG! This is the year that our collective brain is highly likely to melt out of our ears, creating something that closely resembles the primordial soup from which we came. How do I know this? Drummond Puddle Watch What a time […]
…… responsible for a gazillion teenage hearts breaking, when “bad boy”(I am also doing actual air inverted commas here), Zayn Malik announced his departure from the most successful boyband of all time. Ironically named, One Direction….. that direction being, into obscurity. A gazillion more hearts were broken, when the remaining members of the band announced […]
Because there is inevitably going to come a day when you are going to have to explain to your children, who have returned from school with a thousand questions about #piggate #hameron; why the *Prime Minister of the country you live in/or herald from, may or may not have inserted his penis into the mouth […]
Originally posted on The Secret Diary of Anne Pank:
I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have…
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 