Reasons why I don’t have kids #63

Sunshine and heat = kids just want to run around and have fun.  And also: I don’t…..

My go-to hot weather strategy is to naked starfish in front of a fan, at every available opportunity.  I’d probably teach like this, if it was acceptable.  But for very obvious reasons, it’s not.  Poor students.  It does not however, involve packing picnics/flotation aids/insect repellent/the entire contents of Toys-r-Us.  You get me?  This weather is designed, if you absolutely must move, for lounging on a sunbed with a Piña Colada – after sluggishly dragging your  pasty backside to the beach, which could realistically take an hour for an otherwise fifteen minute brisk walk.


I am grumpy and antisocial and need a lot, a lot of space.  Like, I’m not even joking when I say a one kilometer radius.  I’m also very sleepy all the hours I’m supposed to be awake and doing all the grown up stuff, and can’t sleep at the time I’m supposed to be recharging my batteries. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open as I type this…….. and I’m supposed to impart knowledge and wisdom to people, until ten o’clock tonight.
Do not peck my head, small person, Mummy’s got some melting to do, can’t you see that?  Hug?!?! You have got to be joking me!  PHYSICAL  CONTACT?  You are out of your tiny mind, I can’t even pick myself up.

And that is my ‘reasons why I don’t have kids’ #63.


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