I mean, what if we are nothing more than immensely sophisticated machines? Hear me out. My programmed obsolescence appears to have kicked in. It’s a thing. Hi, face (and the rest of me), let me introduce you to gravity. Oh yeah, back, hips, you can’t bend now. Quick, deploy emergency pigeon and puppy pose. Hell, […]
What is with this heat? It’s not time….. Water is pouring out of every part of my body. What is happening? Why aren’t I smaller? Why this is hell, nor are am out of it….. I’m a bit hot. Scorching temperatures have arrived (it’s already 36 degrees) and are expected to increase in a freaky […]
So summer is done and dusted, almost…. That said, I’m still sweating my bean off and doing a little happy dance every time there’s a storm forecast. When it doesn’t arrive, I suddenly find religion and start simultaneously cursing/praying to God to send a hint of a breeze and a shower. Most of my time […]
Today was my last day in work and the glorious summer has well and truly arrived (thirty-one degrees and 60% humidity). My current position is this: starfish, butt naked, litre of iced-water to hand with a couple of strategically placed fans on full blast. I start removing clothing as I’m climbing the stairs to my […]
…….and I can’t believe there’s already Christmas food on sale in Selfridges. August flew by in a flurry of visitors, who came and went in shifts, that allowed me to perform a one day change-over in the manner of a top flight hotel. A top flight hotel that resides in possibly the pissiest street […]
Sunshine and heat = kids just want to run around and have fun. And also: I don’t….. My go-to hot weather strategy is to naked starfish in front of a fan, at every available opportunity. I’d probably teach like this, if it was acceptable. But for very obvious reasons, it’s not. Poor students. It does […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 