I would probably have to be a REAL grown-up and not just fake it twice a year when the opportunity arose/I have the place to myself.  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure I’m well-enough equipped for this, I think it would be fair to say, that I can barely take care of myself.

Being adult is a lot of stress and responsibility for one person to handle, throw a couple of little people into the equation and it would be chaos. For me.  You are also  required to possess a certain skill set, which I feel totally uncomfortable with:

forward thinking

forward planning

asssurances and guarantees

providing certainty for others in your sphere

The desire to forward think and plan, find assurances and guarantees and a provide certainty for others in your sphere. (All the normal things grown-ups should be thinking about).

How can I do that when I don’t even know what the next hour will hold, let alone the next month/year/five/ten years?  I don’t even want a goldfish because the responsibility scares me too much.  (And I was also devastated  and scarred by the loss of Formby, my trusty goldfish of five years I rescued from a fair.  In a village called Formby.)  If I’m not prepared to take my goldfish along for the ride, I most definitely couldn’t up sticks in the blink of an eye and drag my offspring around the place on a whim.

And I definitely couldn’t have them staying in verminy hovels waiting for mummy to get her shit together.  And that is my ‘reasons why I don’t have kids’ #21.