I would probably have to be a REAL grown-up and not just fake it twice a year when the opportunity arose/I have the place to myself. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure I’m well-enough equipped for this, I think it would be fair to say, that I can barely take care of myself. Being adult is a lot […]
My perspective on life is a little skewed. Probably (ᵁⁿᵠᵘᵉˢᵗᶦᵒⁿᵃᵇˡʸ).
I never met a man I looked at and thought “I have such a huge, aching love for you inside me that the only way possible to illustrate the strength of that is to have your baby. I want your baby, I love you that much.” Which is kind of how I imagined you would know you were […]
I would teach them to say thank you to the Gods of everything, every day. For example the Gods of Sudocrem, fishfingers and beans, the Gods of colouring pencils, wellie boots and Ladybird books. Because of this, they would be called weirdos by their classmates and probably get bullied a bit. Which, speaking from experience, […]
Because Mums know everything and are always right. FACT. See my ‘Things I learnt in 2013’… And I don’t and I am not. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I sometimes misjudge the simple things, like what time I need to leave the house to get to work on time. When I say sometimes, […]
I can barely get my own sh*t organised. Take for example, yesterday. My first day back to work. Understand that I had been on holiday since the 23rd December, I had also had a whole week back in Barcelona before I had my first class, which did not start until 2pm, TWO PM IN THE […]
I like to sleep. This is a valid reason. I like to sleep a lot. And lie in at the weekend. And go out until the wee small hours with no military operation and added expense of organising sitters/overnight carers/surrogate mothers (or fathers. No sexism here). I like siestas when I’ve got a couple of hours […]
Alright, alright…… settle down! Don’t get excited/panic, Hell hath not frozeneth over (unlike my ovaries), but you might have to pull up a chair and have some smelling salts to hand. Right. I have not had a radical change of heart in any way shape or form but, I have recently found myself agreeing with […]
Uuuummmm, because I’m good? Thanks. Another week, another sweet-intentioned ( if a tad tiresome) insistence that’s ‘THERE’S STILL TIME!’, to birth that family I somehow overlooked/forgot to have. It basically started with a simple, throw-away, ‘I’m not a mother, but even I know it’s not good to leave your toddler home alone, so that he […]
“It takes a whole village to raise a child”, or so the saying goes. And so with people scattering around the world, becoming more and more solitary when they eventually land there (social media correspondents), and less and less interested to know those around us – a cursory nod to the neighbour, virtually extinct these […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 