Reasons why I don’t have kids #22

I am….. MAMA SCISSORHANDS Remember those terrible times as a child, when your mum thought she was Vidal Sassoon?   Have countless, slightly faded photos of you and your siblings, all with minutely different versions of wonky hair?  Re-living the embarrassment of walking into school with DIY bangs? Well, I would be that mother. If, when […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #21

I would probably have to be a REAL grown-up and not just fake it twice a year when the opportunity arose/I have the place to myself.  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure I’m well-enough equipped for this, I think it would be fair to say, that I can barely take care of myself. Being adult is a lot […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #20

I would periodically feed them lumps of cheese, for one of the following reasons: For educational purposes.  You see, I think it’s a little ‘exotic’ – ssoooooo Italian/French/Swiss, so I am in actual fact, expanding their minds. I am brassic and it’s all I can afford I am lazy (A combination of the two immediately above)   […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #19

They would spend four or five weeks of every year terrified of their grotesque, hayfever misshapen mother, who also happens to be very grumpy at this time. (And the rest of the year scared of her for other reasons including days when she was in a ‘very bad mood for no reason’, time of the month […]

Three, is not the magic number

  I beg to differ De La Soul……From now on, four is my lucky number!  Where’s my lotto slip? I couldn’t have even begun to imagine such a wonderful response when I started scribbling nonsense on the 2nd January.  I’m just a woman without children who says, ‘it’s ok to not have children!’  That’s all, ya […]

Mother’s Day 2014

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Mum’s are amazing (that’s why I’m not one.  I’m magic, but I’m not amazing).  And so it’s only fitting that there should be a day that celebrates these wonderful, mystical creatures who do forty thousand jobs a day and keep it together (mostly). The card I […]

One very happy PANK

OR: Sometimes life’s just like that. Well, I’ll be damned.  In a little over 2 months, together we have started to grow a small, but perfectly formed, worldwide PANKy community of almost 250 followers and over 3200 page views.  Which quite honestly, has taken me a bit by surprise, firstly.  And secondly, has made this 40 something 39 […]