First serious post.  Feels weird.

It’s never a nice thing to see someone you care about so sad and so repentant and unable to fix the pain in their heart.  I know I know, it was great getting gifts and joking about when the boredom would set in, yada yada yada.  And this was all, solely based on his over-dramatic, tantrumy behaviour in the summer.  I really, genuinely believed this new leaf was all for show and he’d be tagging some other poor, unsuspecting  woman along in no time, because he can’t be alone.  Probably also wearing tango-tinted spectacles.

But when he told me yesterday that he’d planned a romantic trip to a cava vineyard for the first of February, the day I finish Dry January, I had to be straight with him…….. There is no us, there is no getting back together,  we’ve been apart as long as we were together, and he gave me the time to well and truly move on.  It wasn’t really the end of the world then, I was p*ssed off sure, (more a bruised ego and dented pride), so it wasn’t so difficult to get past it.  I care about him, of course I do, nothing drastic happened, there was no cheating or beating or anything so terrible.  But the feelings he wants me to have don’t exist now and that IS sad.  For him.  And because he feels so sad, it makes me sad.  I can’t stand to see the people I care about feeling bad, but unfortunately, in this case, there is nothing I can do to help or change it ………..