Valentine Galentine blah blah blah: the Covid months, pt. 12

You know who I felt bad for last weekend? The Instalovers. I mean, is it even Valentine’s if you can’t competitively post images of every little detail? The perfect dinner, the flowers, the present(s), the weekend away, the proposal. Is it even love if it’s not on social media. I think it’s the first time […]

Bailey’s podcast PJs sleep: the Covid months, pt. 9

I am ready for the Christmas break. I feel like I need to sleep for a week. Bearing in mind I’ve spent the best part of this year in pyjamas, this seems strange. I’ve become obsessed with pjs. The only clothing I’m interested in is pyjamas, the only thing I am vaguely stoked to look […]

Chat maths equestrian dick: the Covid months, pt. 4

‘Uff, yes, this year has been terrible. Especially for a man like me, who is very sexual.’ In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, ^Big sigh. Huge^. I may be paraphrasing. Yes. Yes, I’m absolutely sure it’s been an awful time for *checks notes* your penis. Just remind me, this is 2020, right? […]

Wine mask antibodies kiss: the Covid months, pt. 3

‘I’m in a Facebook organised vigilante group that hunts down pickpockets on the Metro.’ So began my latest foray into dating. It’s been more than a year since I last mustered even a hint of enthusiasm for it. Goddam you all the way to Hell, Covid-19 ^shakes tiny fist at the heavens^. I finally arrived […]

Feb 14, 2020

Another day, another dollar. Or: another year, another day of somewhat forced reflection as to why I’m still single and not being awoken with a big fat portion of Instagrammable love. You know, a kiss and a coffee and a pain au chocolat flown in from Paris all the while looking forward to a day […]

World Mental Health Day 2019

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three months since my last post and these are my sins…. I’m quite sure that not writing anything for this long is a mortal sin, but I need to look it up on Catholics.com (pretty much the exact name of the site I got the […]

How not to date – a simple tale

Act one: the set up Dipped my toe into Tinder’s murky waters for a couple of days. I swear, it’s as addictive as Lays campesina crisps. Or crack. I have partaken of only one of these. Nice chap, artist, illustrator, cartoonist, educator……… and founder of his own art-based charity to help refugee children. ^does a […]

Dating epiphany – Feb 2019

A seismic shift has occurred. After almost embarking on a relationship recently, and nipping it right in its tight little buds at the first sign of foot – stomping, I realized something. Something pretty phenomenal, truth be told. It occurred to me that, although the chap seemed nice enough, was attentive, called regularly, was clear […]

You had me at “I like David Icke”

I was excited to hear he was a David Bowie fan. Finally something we had in common we could chat about…. an hour had passed in which I had heard that the ‘actor’ didn’t accept acting work because it’s basically ‘whoring yourself’, that he ‘liked his own (one block) circle’, hadn’t been in anything I […]

I fell off the…..

date wagon ….. and I feel as guilty as if I’d got back on the crack after successfully completing rehab. It’s like I signed an invisible agreement with the dating police and made a promise to the people I love, that I’d never do it again – and now they’re all ‘very disappointed’ by my […]