Reasons why I don’t have kids #10

I never met a man I looked at and thought “I have such a huge, aching love for you inside me that the only way possible to illustrate the strength of that is to have your baby.  I want your baby, I love you that much.” Which is kind of how I imagined you would know you were […]

Wine mask antibodies kiss: the Covid months, pt. 3

‘I’m in a Facebook organised vigilante group that hunts down pickpockets on the Metro.’ So began my latest foray into dating. It’s been more than a year since I last mustered even a hint of enthusiasm for it. Goddam you all the way to Hell, Covid-19 ^shakes tiny fist at the heavens^. I finally arrived […]

You had me at “I like David Icke”

I was excited to hear he was a David Bowie fan. Finally something we had in common we could chat about…. an hour had passed in which I had heard that the ‘actor’ didn’t accept acting work because it’s basically ‘whoring yourself’, that he ‘liked his own (one block) circle’, hadn’t been in anything I […]

The gift of life

I’ve been in love these last four weeks. Deep, pure, unadulterated love. I’m intoxicated. The love I feel for my balcony is stronger, I truly believe, than any love I have felt for a partner in all of my days. I’m obsessed, I’m giddy all the time, I have butterflies when I think about it […]

Well, that was awkward

So, for the first time in almost four weeks I just saw the man, to return some things he lent me for the move. I was not at all prepared for how uncomfortable I would feel; and if I’d been wearing trainers, it’s quite possible I might have broken some kind of land speed record…… […]

24 hours on Lovoo – I don’t know what I want

STATS: Liked me – 192, including Justin Bieber, Heath Ledger and Kurt Russell Visitors – 112 (I know, I don’t understand this either) Added as favourite – 6 No. of threatening messages – 0 No. of strops for no immediate return of greeting – 0 No. of people with tattoos on their FACES – 0 No. of […]

24 hours on OKCupid – I want s*x

STATS: Liked me – 19 Visitors – 49 Added as favourite – 0 (Hell’s teeth!) No. of threatening messages – 0 No. of strops for no immediate return of greeting – 1 No. of people with tattoos on their FACES – 0 No. of p*nis photos – 0 No. of interesting people, who didn’t do any of the […]

24 hours on Badoo – I want a relationship

STATS: Liked me – 171 Visitors – 367 Added as favourite – 19 No. of threatening messages – 1 No. of strops for no immediate return of greeting – 14 No. of people with tattoos on their FACES – 4 No. of p*nis photos – 1 No. of interesting people, who didn’t do any of the four immediately […]

OK, all joking aside

First serious post.  Feels weird. It’s never a nice thing to see someone you care about so sad and so repentant and unable to fix the pain in their heart.  I know I know, it was great getting gifts and joking about when the boredom would set in, yada yada yada.  And this was all, […]