I’m often smacked off my t*ts on Haribo. And when I’m smacked off my t*ts on Haribo I am out of CONTROL, man.  I can’t control my limbs, I see sparks, I can’t control my tongue, I’m unpredictable.

I would fight my children for Haribo.  I would fight other people’s children for Haribo.

And that is my ‘reasons why I don’t have kids’ #12

(Whatever you do, do NOT let me near the party)