They would spend four or five weeks of every year terrified of their grotesque, hayfever misshapen mother, who also happens to be very grumpy at this time.

(And the rest of the year scared of her for other reasons including days when she was in a ‘very bad mood for no reason’, time of the month when she cries uncontrollably for many happy/sad/furious reasons, gin hangovers – when she looks like she is minutes from death – and random occasions in between all of those).

So basically, my kids wouldn’t be scared of me, approximately 13 minutes a year and that is my reasons why I don’t have kids #19.

P.S.  Can’t quite believe I haven’t tagged anything with ‘periods’ until now…… didn’t come up in the menu.  Huh.