Reasons why I don’t have kids #72

Taxi duties. As is documented quite well in this blog, I am a big fan of me time and relaxing at home. Like….. a big, big fan. BIG. ENORMOUS. It is also known that I possess a large array of ‘house trousers’, a term coined by my good friend MonkeySpangles over in the Twittersphere, an […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #45

The World is a sad, broken place.  Where there are countries/organisations that consider freedom, democracy and joy a ‘sin’.  Where there are people who rule those countries/organisations with a rod of iron.  Where the concept of basic human rights are squashed flat and quite literally beaten out of those who seek it.  Where there is huge […]

Oh Madonna how do I love thee

let me count the ways…….. I watched the Jonathon Ross interview with Madonna last week, by the power of my brain magic (because I live in Spain and it would be impossible to see it any other way).  I watched it with the same excitement as the thirteen year old me, seeing her Like a Virgin […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #20

I would periodically feed them lumps of cheese, for one of the following reasons: For educational purposes.  You see, I think it’s a little ‘exotic’ – ssoooooo Italian/French/Swiss, so I am in actual fact, expanding their minds. I am brassic and it’s all I can afford I am lazy (A combination of the two immediately above)   […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #19

They would spend four or five weeks of every year terrified of their grotesque, hayfever misshapen mother, who also happens to be very grumpy at this time. (And the rest of the year scared of her for other reasons including days when she was in a ‘very bad mood for no reason’, time of the month […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #17

Because, this madame would have been greeted by her bags on the doorstep and sent packing to the house of John Inglesino, who represented her in court and is the father of her best friend. Maybe not the best example of teenage parenting………. I concede. #whataspoiltbrat

Reasons why I don’t have kids #11

Because I am Lady Jesus and just look at what happened the first time I was around, walking the Earth and doing goodness to and for all.  Anyone connected to me was doubted, chased, persecuted, whipped, killed etc. etc.  I could go on….. terrible times.  I feel really bad about it. Now, knowing what it’s like to […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #10

I never met a man I looked at and thought “I have such a huge, aching love for you inside me that the only way possible to illustrate the strength of that is to have your baby.  I want your baby, I love you that much.” And that’s kind of how I imagined you would know you were […]