Things I learnt in 2013

  • Men have a propensity to lie (sometimes this is misguided niceness and preferential to ‘hurting’ someone with the truth, but most of the time it is not).
  • If you eat all the tortilla, chorizo, fuet, cheese, millionaire’s shortbread and pan con tomate you put on weight.
  • If you drink too much you get drunk (and put on weight).
  • We are all completely and utterly, 100% responsible for our own decisions.  We can claim to be swerved by outside influences, but at the end of the day, the bottom line is, we made the decision.  No-one climbed in our head and twiddled with knobs, for sure no-one twiddled with mine and I made some pretty dubious choices last year!  
  • If you don’t exercise you put on weight.
  • Anything is possible, it is only our own fears that stop us doing anything.
  • The World is a very small place, playing Six Degrees of Separation is fun.  I’m only two degrees away from Clint Eastwood!
  • Friends are for life.
  • Life is short.
  • Family rocks.
  • Approaching 50 sucks (largely because you still feel 20 12).
  • Being in your thirties, on the whole, does not.
  • Bending over forwards and trying to touch your head to your knees for the first time in 15 years is bloody painful (in private, audience of none).
  • Mum’s know everything and are always right.  FACT.
  • Justin Timberlake is a demi God.
  • If you eat all the tortilla, chorizo, fuet, cheese, millionaire’s shortbread and pan con tomate, if you don’t exercise and you drink vast quantities of beer, wine – red and white – cava, cocktails, gin and whiskey, you put on a LOT of weight
  • Not only is the World small, it is also smattered with idiots which means that you are never further than 100m away from one.  A bit like rats.  
  • Dancing is quite excellent.
  • My homemade millionaire’s shortbread is exquisite.  I just blew my own trumpet.  LOUDLY.
  • Argentine Tango is wonderful.
  • Christmas is great no matter what your age.  NO!  It is not just ‘for the kids’, I still get a lot of joy from giving and receiving presents, THANK. YOU. VERY. MUCH. (indignant huff).
  • Life would be arse-breakingly dull without music.
  • a good haircut is imperative.  It may take a few attempts and a close shave with Catalan fringe, but persevere.  It will be worth it.
  • The splits aren’t possible after a certain age and it is not impressive to do them in your cramped bedroom after some wine, to prove how flexible you think you still are (in private, audience of one).

Thank you 2013, and goodnight.

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One thought on “Things I learnt in 2013

  1. Pingback: Reasons why I don’t have kids #6 | The Secret Diary of Anne Pank

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