And so, it came to pass

that on the six(teen)th hour of the sixth day of the sixth month (after the break up) the ex, who we will refer to here as TT -Twinkle Toes/Temper Tantrum/Silly T*t – artistic license – hath finally seen the error of his fool-hardy ways.  They being unceremoniously dumping me by email in July of last […]

Have a word with yourself

My inner dialogue is shocking, even to me, sometimes…… those of a nervous disposition look away now. Zara, Passeig de Gracia, Saturday 11th January – SALES: 14:45 – “Don’t f**%$!% push, ffs!!” 14:47 – “Put the coat down, I need to see the size, I want it in medium.  Put the coat down, put the coat […]

Queue shame = gym motivation

That moment when you’re in the supermarket queue with your deliciously satisfying non-alcoholic beer, ‘Friday night is treat night’, large ham and mozzarella pizza (for one) and all the extra trimmings: salami, olives, cheese, mushrooms, etc. etc. because there’s just not quite enough lard on there and that MoFo ain’t gonna pimp itself, no siree; […]

Only time will tell…..

…… but I’m beginning to think that alcohol is actually the glue that was holding this ol’ body together!! It’s almost ten days into Dry January and my face is falling off in great big lumps of dry skin (little flakey patches actually), and I’m more than a little certain that that extra three kilos […]

How I feel about the gym

No, no, no, no, NO!  Why gym, WHYYYyyy??? I’m wondering if some science bod, like the lovely Professor Brian Cox or maybe even Professor Stephen Hawking can help to explain the following.  “How is it possible to weigh the same yet be wider in the ar*e area?”  Is it something like this? Not. Happy.

Things I learnt in 2013

Men have a propensity to lie (sometimes this is misguided niceness and preferential to ‘hurting’ someone with the truth, but most of the time it is not). If you eat all the tortilla, chorizo, fuet, cheese, millionaire’s shortbread and pan con tomate you put on weight. If you drink too much you get drunk (and […]