Who’s with me?

Ok people, enough is e-bloody-nuff.   The world’s gone blewmin’ mad and I don’t know where to turn to avoid some kind of mega-crisis. And that’s not counting the existential one. That bastard, I gotta deal with on a daily basis, so I don’t need all this other shit pitching in.  You hear that universe? […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #45

The World is a sad, broken place.  Where there are countries/organisations that consider freedom, democracy and joy a ‘sin’.  Where there are people who rule those countries/organisations with a rod of iron.  Where the concept of basic human rights are squashed flat and quite literally beaten out of those who seek it.  Where there is huge […]

Oh Madonna how do I love thee

let me count the ways…….. I watched the Jonathon Ross interview with Madonna last week, by the power of my brain magic (because I live in Spain and it would be impossible to see it any other way).  I watched it with the same excitement as the thirteen year old me, seeing her Like a Virgin […]

And so, it came to pass

that on the six(teen)th hour of the sixth day of the sixth month (after the break up) the ex, who we will refer to here as TT -Twinkle Toes/Temper Tantrum/Silly T*t – artistic license – hath finally seen the error of his fool-hardy ways.  They being unceremoniously dumping me by email in July of last […]

Have a word with yourself

My inner dialogue is shocking, even to me, sometimes…… those of a nervous disposition look away now. Zara, Passeig de Gracia, Saturday 11th January – SALES: 14:45 – “Don’t f**%$!% push, ffs!!” 14:47 – “Put the coat down, I need to see the size, I want it in medium.  Put the coat down, put the coat […]

Queue shame = gym motivation

That moment when you’re in the supermarket queue with your deliciously satisfying non-alcoholic beer, ‘Friday night is treat night’, large ham and mozzarella pizza (for one) and all the extra trimmings: salami, olives, cheese, mushrooms, etc. etc. because there’s just not quite enough lard on there and that MoFo ain’t gonna pimp itself, no siree; […]

Only time will tell…..

…… but I’m beginning to think that alcohol is actually the glue that was holding this ol’ body together!! It’s almost ten days into Dry January and my face is falling off in great big lumps of dry skin (little flakey patches actually), and I’m more than a little certain that that extra three kilos […]