I’m an incredibly talented time waster (see previous post) and children would only serve to cramp this remarkable and rare ability and that wouldn’t be good for anyone. You see, there is in fact absolutely NO time to waste when you have children; unless you have mastered space/time continuum, have discovered a wormhole which you […]
Well, on a scale of 1-OFF the scale excitement, I’m at just about blowing my t*ts off excited!!! And that’s no mean feat. The Secret Diary of Anne Pank is just a mere seven views away from 1000 since it began on 2nd January. That’s one WHOLE thousand views of pages on my site. So, […]
Wait, what’s that?? Whoa, it feels a little bit strange. No no, hold-on. Well!! It’s been quite a long time since I’ve experienced this sensation….. No, that can’t be right, tell me it’s true, is that – a – HIP BONE?!?!?!? (don’t be utterly ridiculous. Uncomfortably tight knicker elastic cutting in.)
Sometimes, I get a massage from a student!! Well, today was the first time, but hey, who’s counting?? I have had the most excrutiating pain in my right shoulder blade and collar bone and right down my right arm for three days, which has kept me awake and made me just the tiniest bit (foul […]
No, no, no, no, NO! Why gym, WHYYYyyy??? I’m wondering if some science bod, like the lovely Professor Brian Cox or maybe even Professor Stephen Hawking can help to explain the following. “How is it possible to weigh the same yet be wider in the ar*e area?” Is it something like this? Not. Happy.
Men have a propensity to lie (sometimes this is misguided niceness and preferential to ‘hurting’ someone with the truth, but most of the time it is not). If you eat all the tortilla, chorizo, fuet, cheese, millionaire’s shortbread and pan con tomate you put on weight. If you drink too much you get drunk (and […]
Because sometimes you meet really, really cool people who you click with immediately and then spend most of every class laughing your ar*es off. (While imparting invaluable knowledge and wisdom-obviously.) Today, I along with Señor U, invented ‘The Crappies’ awards, then allocated a couple to some deserving recipients. Then, discovered they already exist and had […]