I would be in a perpetual cycle of bankruptcy (round about this time every year), and recovery (the rest of the year, until Christmas again), until they left home. Or I died of poordom. Whichever happened to come first. My money’s on the latter. But more likely, is that I would buckle under the pressure, […]
Originally posted on The Secret Diary of Anne Pank:
I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have…
Relevant after tonight’s frivolities, I’d say. I was Russell Brand’s aunt.
the Last Great Adventure My Dad, the ‘character’, has had a bad year. Well, more than just one to be honest, but this one in particular. He’s seventy-one, so of course, things are beginning to break down and not work properly. Not a huge surprise, some might say, for a man who smoked from the age […]
I wouldn’t want my kids to see me as anything other than the able, independent, silly-arse goon I am now and have been forever. I would never want to break their hearts. And I would. Eventually.
the people who don’t believe you when you say, “Yeah, I’m good thanks!” Because, that just ain’t (right) possible. I can’t remember exactly why I was talking about it recently, when I explained that I hadn’t had a date, since ‘Hot Frenchie February’, but my companion’s complete 1) disbelief, and 2) incredulity, then 3) pity, was palpable. […]
They could grow up to be Kim Kardashian and/or Kanye West. There are no guarantees people. No. Guarantees.
**Explaining the intricacies of boy parts, and girl parts to little girls and little boys is a veritable MINEFIELD. Case in point, the explosive response to a few short lines in Lena Dunham’s book, Not That Kind of Girl. I’ve occasionally wondered how it’s possible to explain to the little people these mysterious, curious things, […]
I’d place my arm around her shoulder, guide her gently to one side and have a quiet word. Gobby woman to gobby woman. Coming from your Aunty Anne, a prolific chatterer, to say, “think before you speak”, is quite something. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, it’s (earth-shattering) pertinent and important to […]
I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have well and truly reached yours. Fingers on lips, while […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 