Author Archives: annepank

Reasons why I don’t have kids #34 (OR: How to be a Nice Shithead)

by

  If I gave birth to boys, I’m afraid that I would have to attempt to *beat seven shades of shithead out of them, from a very early age.  FACT.  Because it seems that, irrespective of your background, there is something in the nature, that overrides the nuture, that means they all become arseholes at some point.  There […]

Nothing like a healthy dose of humiliation to……

by

put paid to your ridiculous fantasy. In four short months I’ve slipped from feeling like someone of note in someone’s life, to a mild irritation.  And there’s nothing quite like seeing the object of your affections, lapping up the somewhat undignified idol worship of two drunken (average looking) women, to fill you with revulsion and turn […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #32

by

The child-minding bills would be huge, while I was ‘lost in Europe’ for a substanial amount of time, stealing impressive gems.  I’d have to rethink everything. Imagine the scene.  I have a sneaking suspicion it’d be terribly difficult to find an Easyjet uniform in size age 8-9 years, thus causing all kinds of problems for the first stage my ‘diamond heist’ […]

Am I a………

by

I am terrified of disappointing people. FACT. I have learnt this very recently, and I don’t like it. I might even go so far as to say, this subconscious fear has led me to, during my lifetime, not stray too far from the path of what’s comfortable and achievable so as not to fall short […]

Things I learned in Britain, August 2014

by

As I leave this green and pleasant land, the same way I arrived, slightly hungover, after two and a half weeks with family and friends (old and new), I take with me the following: • It’s cold and wet. All year. Usually just when I arrive in Wales. • North Wales is breathtakingly beautiful, in […]

***Crush watch***crush watch***

by

Finally, after many a distraction over the last busy month, and plenty of time between contact, (and the promise of dinner with the Captain), I finally felt that my crush was abating.  Replaced slowly with feelings of deep affection, for a new, dear friend for life, I thought that I was starting to regain a little of […]

How to commit the perfect crime (in Europe)

by

Sitting in the bar chit chatting after our spa day, I was saying to my cousin how strange I found it that you don’t have to provide documents on arrival into EU countries, from other EU countries. The first time I travelled from Spain to France, I was completely flummoxed when I didn’t have to […]