Category Archives: Blog

My dad is not a well man

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the Last Great Adventure My Dad, the ‘character’, has had a bad year.  Well, more than just one to be honest, but this one in particular.  He’s seventy-one, so of course, things are beginning to break down and not work properly.  Not a huge surprise, some might say, for a man who smoked from the age […]

The worst thing about being single is…..

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the people who don’t believe you when you say, “Yeah, I’m good thanks!”  Because, that just ain’t (right) possible. I can’t remember exactly why I was talking about it recently, when I explained that I hadn’t had a date, since ‘Hot Frenchie February’, but my companion’s complete 1) disbelief, and 2) incredulity, then 3) pity, was palpable.  […]

*Reasons why I don’t have kids #35

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**Explaining the intricacies of boy parts, and girl parts to little girls and little boys is a veritable MINEFIELD.  Case in point, the explosive response to a few short lines in Lena Dunham’s book, Not That Kind of Girl. I’ve occasionally wondered how it’s possible to explain to the little people these mysterious, curious things, […]

If I was Lena Dunham’s aunt

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I’d place my arm around her shoulder, guide her gently to one side and have a quiet word.  Gobby woman to gobby woman. Coming from your Aunty Anne, a prolific chatterer, to say, “think before you speak”, is quite something. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, it’s (earth-shattering) pertinent and important to […]

If I was Russell Brand’s aunt

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I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have well and truly reached yours. Fingers on lips, while […]

If I was Jude Law’s aunt (or So Jude Law is going to be a Dad. Again…)

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I’d say;  “Dear heart of mine, dear, dear, sweet, handsome boy.  Sweet heart, darling Jude: STOP GETTING WOMEN PREGNANT ALL OVER THE BLOODY PLACE. *siiiiiiigggghhhhhhhh Did your mother never give you ‘the chat’, when you were a  wee small boy?  For Heaven’s sakes above!   It is not true that if you wish hard enough […]