You have to be possessing of great big, fat coj*nes to email ‘happy birthday’ as a warmer to the following conversation: FP (Flaccid p*nis from two years ago, of the ‘About those p*nises’ post fame): Xxxxxx cxxxxxxx Felicidades AP (me): Gracias FP: Hi, how are you? I am in U………… missing you AP: Are you sure?!? […]
from one of my best friends, so it’s safe to say, she knows me well enough to send it and know that: a) it’s absolutely representative of times we’ve shared, so 100% justified b) that I wouldn’t be offended (and c) that at some point, I have actually looked exactly like the drunken whore on the right, all curly […]
Sometimes you start your Monday by listening to Elbow’s ‘One Day Like This’, the sun is shining, it’s warm and you get a nice surprise. Then you walk around loving life right in it’s face, stupidly grinning at everyone, struggling to resist the urge to skip and click heels together intermittently, as if in a film version of your own life, […]
Without a word of a lie, I know instinctively when there’s a full moon, because I come over all impish and mischievious and plan shenanigans. Having said that however, I still haven’t learnt that one should plan said shenanigans to coincide with when the next full moon is, in order to maintain the levels of enthusiasm needed for all […]
“Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” Angel and devil on my shoulders this week.
Sometimes, just sometimes, students say: “Thank you, that’s a really great explanation.” “We want another class each week, we feel like we are learning something.” “Aaaaahhhhhh” (intonation up), the sound of the penny dropping. “Yes, yes, I’m certain we are improving with you.” Sometimes. And when they do, it’s really nice.
“I really hope my eyes continue to get smaller and smaller and smaller throughout today, because of the tiredness. Who actually needs to see stuff anyway? Really?” Said no-one ever. #knackeredoutofmybrain
Just because it’s beautiful.
to include such skills as predicting the future by the médium of dream. FACT. My Ikea +1 misplaced her scarf, the night we went out innocently for a burger and ended up clubbing in our jumpers. I dreamt, very clearly, that she recovered the scarf and she actually did, in the very last place that […]
Possibly the luckiest girl in Barcelona. That is all……..
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 