Because Mums know everything and are always right. FACT. See my ‘Things I learnt in 2013’… And I don’t and I am not. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I sometimes misjudge the simple things, like what time I need to leave the house to get to work on time. When I say sometimes, […]
I can barely get my own sh*t organised. Take for example, yesterday. My first day back to work. Understand that I had been on holiday since the 23rd December, I had also had a whole week back in Barcelona before I had my first class, which did not start until 2pm, TWO PM IN THE […]
I like to sleep. This is a valid reason. I like to sleep a lot. And lie in at the weekend. And go out until the wee small hours with no military operation and added expense of organising sitters/overnight carers/surrogate mothers (or fathers. No sexism here). I like siestas when I’ve got a couple of hours […]
I mean, what if we are nothing more than immensely sophisticated machines? Hear me out. My programmed obsolescence appears to have kicked in. It’s a thing. Hi, face (and the rest of me), let me introduce you to gravity. Oh yeah, back, hips, you can’t bend now. Quick, deploy emergency pigeon and puppy pose. Hell, […]
Seeing most of you at Christmas, and keeping abreast of the rest of you with proud updates from your mums and dads, was like a giant punch in the gut. Oh! Not in a bad way, but y’all getting soooooo big! But let’s focus – more than that, I appreciated this year just what wonderful […]
For me, HAPPINESS is: Being alive and being healthy. Appreciate it. Every. Single. Day. Love – this is not the exclusive reserve of couples. Love yourself (a lot, if the mood takes you. Err hheerrm), breathing, fruit, creatures – except the likes of snakes/cockroaches/earworms/penis-burrowing fish, and their ilk (that’ll get you nowhere). Your world, your city, […]
Well, maybe I should have kids, after all! *PSYCH! After some months of rude, crude and downright dirty online dating experiences, (did I mention the **Italian journalist who wanted me to call him ‘slave’, lick my stilettos and sent a late-night, drunken message about pee? Nope? Another time maybe); I have seen a tiny chink […]
I’m pretty sure there’s a very good reason I don’t have kids. Deep down my witchy senses tell me that the Universe had a large hand in saving some poor, unsuspecting little mites the pitying glances of other, more responsible and deserving adults, as mummy left them tethered outside the supermarket where the doggies should […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 