(or inately stupid). Justin Bieber, just because you have a big tattoo of me on your calf does not mean your recent behaviour is forgiven. I like this particular representation of myself, it just so happens, Ecce Homo by Rubens from 1610, and I am very flattered you wanted my face on your person. But; you and […]
and so, I have had a day completely off from everything. Really. Done. Nothing. That is all.
Saturday, 22/02/2014 19:00 hours – arrive gymnasium (closes at 19:30 hours. Was not aware of that fact). 19:30 hours – leave gymnasium. Sheepishly. 19:45 hours – arrive supermarket 19:55 hours – leave supermarket with yet more pasta, pesto and red wine. 20:00 hours – shower, while downloading Hunger Games II 20:10 hours – unload washing […]
I forced myself to the gym last night to kick-start, ‘operation lift funk’. And I have to say, with the help of the man-mountain next to me who was competing with five foot, fiddy-fi kilo me*, I managed to finally begin the arduous process of dragging my sad and sorry, gym-less, pyjama-wearing, wine-coiffing, spaghetti-laden arse out of the […]
Don’t eat purple spring onions if your job involves being within a 10kilometre radius of other human beings. They’re like the H-bomb of vegetables. NOT ideal for close proximity one-to-one classes, I just took out half of the Eixample just walking down the street. I may be accountable for a couple of deaths by asphyxiation […]
If you go to the doctor to discuss The Funk, without really knowing what exactly it is that you’ve got, but you just feel bad and weird and you say, “Doctor, I feel bad and weird and don’t want to paint my toe-nails a pretty colour”, he/she will tell you to take a seat and […]
I don’t even want to paint my toe-nails a pretty colour. send help.
To say I’m seriously miffed would be an understatement. I am seriously miffed about the fact that it would appear I have to be perpetually f*cking happy in order for the brain magic and Jesús-ness to work. B*llocks to that, it ain’t gonna happen. I’ve discovered this devastating fact during the course of this week, as […]
I’m smacked off my t*ts on Haribo. That is all. #livinglifeontheedge
and not in the cool, George Clinton Parliament Funkadelic way, though I wish that were the case because that would be awesome. Imagine if every day was like this. There’d be no war, no misery and everyone would be mellow and achieve World peace and hug each other all the time. I like them apples. No, […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 