I never, EVER want to go to the gym with my boyfriend

It’s where I sweat profusely because I’m working my t*tties off to try and stay in some kind of aceptable human shape and improve my stamina, so I don’t die walking up the stairs when the lift is out of order in my building.  (Which actually happened after I got back from Christmas).  It’s a biological FACT, […]

PANKs know how to party

Saturday, 22/02/2014 19:00 hours – arrive gymnasium (closes at 19:30 hours. Was not aware of that fact). 19:30 hours – leave gymnasium. Sheepishly. 19:45 hours – arrive supermarket 19:55 hours – leave supermarket with yet more pasta, pesto and red wine. 20:00 hours – shower, while downloading Hunger Games II 20:10 hours – unload washing […]

Road to recovery

I forced myself to the gym last night to kick-start, ‘operation  lift funk’.  And I have to say, with the help of the man-mountain next to me who  was competing with  five foot, fiddy-fi kilo me*, I managed to finally begin the arduous process of dragging my sad and sorry, gym-less, pyjama-wearing, wine-coiffing, spaghetti-laden arse out of the […]

Take a moment – Psalm 23:4

“Even though I walk through the valley of elliptical trainers, I will fear no pain, for you are with me motivation; your rod (phnar) and your staff – lovely helpful, ‘I run everywhere, even if it’s just 30cm and do press-ups while chatting to you’ Victor, they comfort me.” **You’ll find this particular psalm on the website […]

The latest beauty b*llsh*t

So I’ve made an appointment to have my knee-caps shaved because they’re a bit too prominent and they’re ruining the aesthetic of my legs.  Honestly, what’s a girl to with these impractical, protruding bones? And thinking of impractical protruding bones, I think my ankles are not quite in the right place so in the summer, […]