Aaahhh, remember the Dolly Parton Challenge 160 years ago? That was fun. I posted —>>>> on the 1st January on Instagram and, as they say over on the Twitter, ‘this aged well’. It was the year I bought a beautiful pair of Mary Janes that will never see the light of day now that my […]
BY ALL THE POWERS OF GRAYSKULL!!! What a year it’s been….. Firstly and most significantly – maybe – this is the year I became a born-again virgin. What?! It’s a thing, alright. And guess what I didn’t do. That’s right, rampage around trying to shoot/mow down groups of men, because I felt rejected and impotent. […]
I’m about to admit a failing. Buckle up. It has been increasingly difficult to write the funny stuff these last two years, when the world appears to be completely engulfed in flames. I’ve written as much and as often as possible, and tried to keep the ol’ pecker up in true Blighty style and not […]
2017 was the year I had a relationship. And then I did not have a relationship. The End. Only joking! Lots of other stuff happened. Maybe not quite as important, but you know, you gotta be accommodating with these things. So let’s *begin the begin (as the late great Julio Iglesias once sang) – Is […]
Here I stand, proud possessor of boobs, saluting all great women everywhere. Past and present. (Pssssst, just for the record, I also admire great men too, before y’all start freaking out. It’s just that today is International Women’s Day, and that’s what I’m talking about). How quickly time flies when you’re still fighting the good […]
Ms Anne Pank some dark, gothic street Barcelona Dear Mr Trump, I hope you don’t mind me getting in touch with you like this, but the desire was too strong to ignore. You are now in charge of the most powerful country in the world. Don’t f*ck it up. I do […]
Well, hello there new year, what’s occurring? Whatever it is, please don’t let it be a repeat of last year’s epic b*ll*cks. Thanks ever so much, old chap. So……. we’re almost a week in and I haven’t bothered to promise to do anything, because I’ve finally made my peace with the fact that I have […]
Well, what a year this has been, and it’s not over yet. The election result in the USA last week was for me, the sledgehammer blow of realisation; we are not progressing. Right now humanity is hopeless. And to my nieces and nephews I say: sorry. I thought we were better than this. I thought […]
Ms Anne Pank some dark, gothic street Barcelona Dear United States of America, I hope you don’t mind me getting in touch with you like this, but the desire was too strong to ignore. Tomorrow is D-Day. Don’t f*ck it up. I do apologise, let me rephrase that. Failing President Obama – knowledgeable, elegant, diplomatic, […]
Incapable of feeling or rational thought? What a furore! Things have been so very dull of late in politics (what with no fascist rhetoric whatsoever coming from Blighty, or chat of jam and air and child-labour saving the Brit economy), a drama was long overdue. Well, it had been a whole week since the Labour […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 