…….and I can’t believe there’s already Christmas food on sale in Selfridges. August flew by in a flurry of visitors, who came and went in shifts, that allowed me to perform a one day change-over in the manner of a top flight hotel. A top flight hotel that resides in possibly the pissiest street […]
I don’t know how I really feel after the events of the last week. After taking my brother and sister to the airport early this morning, before the hustle and bustle of a regular day in Placa Reial or on las Ramblas began, I took a walk down one of the most famous streets in […]
Because apparently, these days it’s not ok to say no to kids, because they ‘get sad’. Well, you know what junior, y’all betta man up, coz that’s the way the world works….. (uum sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Oh wait, yes I do – non-motherness). They say you’re never too old to […]
Walking around Port Aventura on a fortuitous day off, last Tuesday, I was struck by a new found appreciation for my mother’s necessity for coffee breaks every hour on the hour, whenever we went on a trip or day out when I was a kid. Whilst I wholeheartedly wanted to be buffeted around at 1000 […]
My internal thermostat is thoroughly buggered. It’s thirty-three point two degrees outside with seventy-five percent humidity; and five hundred and sixty two and a half thousand degrees inside, with my reproductive organs currently at a gazillion percent humidity. It’s a thing. Don’t even think about questioning me. There is a fire raging somewhere between my […]
Sunshine and heat = kids just want to run around and have fun. And also: I don’t….. My go-to hot weather strategy is to naked starfish in front of a fan, at every available opportunity. I’d probably teach like this, if it was acceptable. But for very obvious reasons, it’s not. Poor students. It does […]
I’ve outsourced my brain to my digital agenda….. How do you Mum’s actually do it? I can’t remember to clean my teeth if it’s not in my diary and I’ve set three different alarms to alert me to the alarm that alerts me to my gob. Everything is in there, from the run of the […]
One day they could walk through the door, after a long day at school and say, “f*ck this sh*t mum, studying is for losers. I want to take the UK all the way at the Eurovision Song Contest!” “I’m going to have a giant pineapple on stage that I’ll crawl out of and start […]
Can I put ‘epic hugger’, ‘awesome present buyer’, ‘teacher of how to do the splits, while fuzzy on red wine’ on my curriculum vitae? And if so, are these skills of any interest at all to two teenagers who are auditioning girlfriends for their dad? I’m in my first significant relationship since the Mexican and […]
…….. if they can’t get you good and bloody drunk, make you cry laughing, have a good sob with you, take you to get your first tattoo and pass on the number of their divorce lawyer? I mean really, what more is there? The foundation of friendship for me, is a shared sense of humour, […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 