…. like we need that weird pair gloves from the Innovations Catalogue, made of towel, that are redundant, because you know: towels. Yep, it’s that time of year again, when we gaze longingly into the jeweller’s window, surreptitiously glance at the overpriced heart-shaped menu as we pass the restaurant, and are bombarded with guilt-inducing images […]
The bubbling fountain of raging lava percolating under the surface of my subconscious, ready to explode at the first sight of (what should be) utterly unbelievable news, seen on social media on a daily basis. I thought that maybe, with the turning of a new annual leaf, 2017 might gift me with a calmer disposition. […]
Well, hello there new year, what’s occurring? Whatever it is, please don’t let it be a repeat of last year’s epic b*ll*cks. Thanks ever so much, old chap. So……. we’re almost a week in and I haven’t bothered to promise to do anything, because I’ve finally made my peace with the fact that I have […]
Ms Anne Pank some dark, gothic street Barcelona Dear United States of America, I hope you don’t mind me getting in touch with you like this, but the desire was too strong to ignore. Tomorrow is D-Day. Don’t f*ck it up. I do apologise, let me rephrase that. Failing President Obama – knowledgeable, elegant, diplomatic, […]
Halloween pressure! The most fun I ever had at Halloween, was the year I decided to fully embrace it when I was living in my house in Liverpool. I decorated my window at the front with fairy-lit twigs that I already had in my lounge, dressed from head to toe in suitably gothy, black […]
Incapable of feeling or rational thought? What a furore! Things have been so very dull of late in politics (what with no fascist rhetoric whatsoever coming from Blighty, or chat of jam and air and child-labour saving the Brit economy), a drama was long overdue. Well, it had been a whole week since the Labour […]
I’m almost tempted to get knocked up and go home! No, really! (rusty tubes permitting, obviously), such is the idyllic view of future Blighty currently being painted by the government during their party conference in Birmingham. What a beautiful place it’s going to be and a cracking future for kids. No? At the weekend, The Telegraph published […]
We’ve finally lost our collective minds it would appear. Well, we kind of knew this already to be fair, 2016 has seen some sort of epic global meltdown. Look long and hard at Brexit (believing words that came out of the bumbling, ridiculous mouths of Farage and Johnson, and changing the state of a nation […]
Some people say to me, often I just realised, “You’re a bit pessimistic/negative”. What I might have said to elicit that response, is something along the lines of 1. “Jesus H. Christ my knees hurts. *Age is a big ol’ bitch!” OR 2. “Jesus H. Christ, Monday again, what a c*nt!”, OR 3. “JEHEE-EE-Sus Holy Mother […]
Ah August, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…… Exercise, creativity, reading the shit out of stuff, taking better care of myself, a two month health kick. You know the drill. So filled with dizzying enthusiasm for a productivity-packed summer vacation was I (again) that I almost completely forgot that I am, in […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 