Daniel Craig and *that* papoose

Right, listen up. Just because some of us don’t have the children, doesn’t mean we don’t likes the children. Some of us. And it certainly doesn’t mean we don’t likes the men who haves the children and especially those that are full on, hands-on doting papis of the children. Case in point, Daniel Craig. A […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #70

Oh good Lord – the memories! All the bloody memories….. not just in your head brain. Physical ones too. I was listening to a podcast yesterday while getting ready for work, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, in which they were talking about decluttering and also creating a personal timeline. The premise of the timeline was to […]

The ghost of (almost) lovers past

Wow! Ain’t nothing makes you feel a million dollars, like an ex-almost-lover from some years ago, getting in touch out of the blue to suss out the sex sitch. Amaright!? *offers hands up for a double high-five*. I’m right, aren’t I? Yeeeeaaah, not so much. I know I’ve been oozing positive vibes an’ all that, […]

Reasons why it might have been cool to have kids #1

Alright, alright…… settle down! Don’t get excited/panic, Hell hath not frozeneth over (unlike my ovaries), but you might have to pull up a chair and have some smelling salts to hand. Right. I have not had a radical change of heart in any way shape or form but, I have recently found myself agreeing with […]

Seven years, no itch

So summer is done and dusted, almost…. That said, I’m still sweating my bean off and doing a little happy dance every time there’s a storm forecast. When it doesn’t arrive, I suddenly find religion and start simultaneously cursing/praying to God to send a hint of a breeze and a shower. Most of my time […]

Puppy love

As you know, I’ve never been the maternal type, I’ve never experienced the yearning/calling/longing/choir of cherubs (is that a thing?). And the only time my tubes have actually twitched, was that fleeting moment in pattern-cutting class, just before big Jen passed out and cracked her face open – and in the company of one or […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #69

One word. IKEA. Why people, why? IKEA is not a multi-generational trip out. Seriously, ever wondered why you never see it listed alongside Port Aventura, the Aquarium and the city tour bus in the guides? Grandmas/pas, mas/pas and little ones, like a slow-moving caravan, travelling along the path to fulfilment (generic wall art). Or worse, […]

On the wagon

Hi. My name is Anne Pank, and I’ve been sober for three months and nine days. Date sober. About a month after my lovely couple of dates with the ‘Dane living in Barcelona‘, I went on the date equivalent of a pedalo. Great idea at the time, mildly entertaining for ten minutes going round in […]

Have your cake and eat it

Madonna is sixty. The whole world is watching and listening to see how she will celebrate this milestone. I’m sure the likes of Piers Morgan, Sarah Vine and endless other worldwide detractors are probably lurking in the shadows foaming at the mouth, waiting to pounce on whatever she wears or whatever shenanigans she gets up […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #68

Today was my last day in work and the glorious summer has well and truly arrived (thirty-one degrees and 60% humidity). My current position is this: starfish, butt naked, litre of iced-water to hand with a couple of strategically placed fans on full blast. I start removing clothing as I’m climbing the stairs to my […]