I turned forty-five at the weekend, and it was all I could do, to keep the ball of abject terror down, and not run through the streets screaming like a banshee, “I’m not ready!! I need more time!” I was seriously close to a real-life, bona fide panic attack. The Ten Commandments of Adult Life […]
For me, HAPPINESS is: Being alive and being healthy. Appreciate it. Every. Single. Day. Love – this is not the exclusive reserve of couples. Love yourself (a lot, if the mood takes you. Err hheerrm), breathing, fruit, creatures – except the likes of snakes/cockroaches/earworms/penis-burrowing fish, and their ilk (that’ll get you nowhere). Your world, your city, […]
Firstly, I am writing this with a bottle of Moet open, accompanied by a meticulously planned dream breakfast of freshly squeezed orange juice, coffee and a toasted bagel, smeared with cream cheese and topped with smoked salmon, a squeeze of lemon and a sprinkle of black pepper. I feel like I’m on death row, […]
Being crushingly disappointing to my kids. In a world obsessed with Apple, Nike, Starbucks, with the likes of the Kardashians leading the charge – I’m afraid my kids would hate me. I only just (three weeks ago) acquired my first iPhone, after being a committed Samsung user for years, and before that Crackberry. […]
….. naked selfie, and then followed it up with an essay, defending her right to post naked selfies, on her website after a mixed reaction from various celebs on social media. And rightly so. Now, Kim sweetie, there’s no disputing you have a bloody IN-CRED-IBLE (natural or not) body, {insert applause here}. AND, there is […]
And so it rolls around again, and some of the men will get all upset that there’s a day for us poor, hysterical folk possessing of boobs and vaginas. That we feel there’s a necessity to implement an International Women’s Day concerns them. “But WHY?” we hear them wail in unison. And it’s a good question. Because, […]
Happy Mother’s Day. To the mothers I know, and the ones I don’t, you are wonderful, ethereal creatures. My own mum will turn seventy in October of this year; and I have never valued what she is and what she does, more than I do now that I am older. With each passing year, I […]
WWhhoopp!! Oh Amsterdam how do I love thee, let me count the ways….. It’s been more than twenty years since I was in you. I went with my ex-husband and we stayed with friends, and I never saw the canals or the museums or the red-light district. We never made it there, because my […]
You’ve changed my life, (and probably the lives of millions, around the world), but let’s not talk about them. I want to think that I’m your special one. I can’t thank you enough, for the things you’ve introduced me to that I might never have experienced, had I not met you. From the moment we […]
Broken limbs and other injuries. I just got off the metro, having watched a super sweet papi, politely (but nervously) engaging with a batty old woman. The batty old woman had nudged me, to alert me the presence of a baby in a buggy, presumably to notice it’s cuteness. Said baby was cute, undoubtedly, but […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 