Reasons why I don’t have kids #66

Social media. Somewhere, deep in the annals of time (like maybe a thousand years ago), there are hazy memories of shenanigans and japes and underage naughtiness. Of course there are, none of us are angels. And if you claim to be, then I don’t trust you one little bit. I tried my first cigarette at […]

How your body changes in your forties – a scientific report

!! EVERYTHING YOU EAT GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR BUM AND YOUR HORMONES MAKE YOUR CHEST GROW UNCONTROLLABLY !! THE END. No, really, here’s how it’s panning out……. Strange things are a happnin’ in ol’ PANKsville, over yonder way….. (for reasons unbeknownst to even me, it appears that I have adopted the persona of a suspicious […]

An open letter to my nieces and nephews

Seeing most of you at Christmas, and keeping abreast of the rest of you with proud updates from your mums and dads, was like a giant punch in the gut. Oh! Not in a bad way, but y’all getting soooooo big! But let’s focus – more than that, I appreciated this year just what wonderful […]

If one more man says…

….. to me, ‘you seem to have very fixed ideas‘, I will kick them so f*cking hard in their crown jewels, they’ll have to start thinking with the brain that lives in their head. In these last three months, I have felt the pressure to just simply keep my mouth firmly shut, more than I […]

New Year’s Eve

It’s a funny old thing, isn’t it? For me anyway. I really can’t remember the last time that I did the whole, head-to-toe, two day preparation ‘out out‘, New Year’s Eve. Not since my siblings and I went to the ‘Living Room’ (not ‘a‘ living room. That would be weird. A family coming home from […]

Dating toe dipping

….. is all it’s going to be I think. Inevitably, I have logged into trusty old Tinder, to see who’s about, (and to get a little boost for my ever-so-slightly bruised ego). Obvs. #sorrynotsorry. And it really is just that. Yes, I loved Mr C, but I don’t know if it’s an age thing, but […]

Fairytale of Barcelona

Picture this, if you will……. a beautiful *princess has been released from the shackles (a restricted budget and rocketing rental prices), that have kept her prisoner in a darkened dungeon for three years, (a first floor flat over a bar in the Gotic). She had been waiting, with so much hope in her heart, that […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #65

Mothers, here’s a question for you: Where do you find the time to wallow in self-pity, after a relationship breakdown, or indeed say, when suffering from a simple cold or hangover? I wrote my last post yesterday about my recent relationship fail; approximately three weeks, four days, two hours and some seconds after it actually […]

Well, that was awkward

So, for the first time in almost four weeks I just saw the man, to return some things he lent me for the move. I was not at all prepared for how uncomfortable I would feel; and if I’d been wearing trainers, it’s quite possible I might have broken some kind of land speed record…… […]

The joy of doing nothing

So. Sunday. I’ve spent the best part of today horizontal, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Even a teeny, tiny bit. I’ve had to fight *really hard against the urge to do anything today. For ten days I’ve worked my butt off to get organised in the new place and get the old place […]