So I’ve made an appointment to have my knee-caps shaved because they’re a bit too prominent and they’re ruining the aesthetic of my legs. Honestly, what’s a girl to with these impractical, protruding bones? And thinking of impractical protruding bones, I think my ankles are not quite in the right place so in the summer, […]
BAD for you, BAD I say!!! No alcohol +regular exercise = laid up with a bad back……. MF!! It’s causing all kinds of trouble for my plans of laying around all day, all kinds of trouble! Not. Happy.
So, you know the image of the perfect French woman, all chic and slim and cool and chic and slim and cool and stuff…… multiply it by infinity and add a dash of dismissive arrogance, then you’ve got my pre-conceived idea of a typical Parisienne. And so the thought of going to a city full of these Stepford standard automatons […]
If you’re not sweating in the gym, you’re not working HARD ENOUGH!! Now DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY SOLDIER!!! (Oh for the love of the sweet baby Jesús, what is happening to me?) Send help.
I am on my way to the gym. That is all.
I only ate half the pizza. (harumph)
That moment when you’re in the supermarket queue with your deliciously satisfying non-alcoholic beer, ‘Friday night is treat night’, large ham and mozzarella pizza (for one) and all the extra trimmings: salami, olives, cheese, mushrooms, etc. etc. because there’s just not quite enough lard on there and that MoFo ain’t gonna pimp itself, no siree; […]
…… but I’m beginning to think that alcohol is actually the glue that was holding this ol’ body together!! It’s almost ten days into Dry January and my face is falling off in great big lumps of dry skin (little flakey patches actually), and I’m more than a little certain that that extra three kilos […]
You will mostly find me here for the foreseeable future.
and the answer is, it’s NOT possible…… I weighed myself and I have gained three kilos, all in my BACKSIDE! Thus I am not a medical marvel worthy of being thoroughly probed and written about.
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 