I am quite sure that a lunch that consists of a ball of mozzarella with a blob of pesto on the top, neither counts as a healthy balanced diet or is eaten by any of the following: Halle Berry Angelina Jolie Jennifer Anniston Rosie Huntingdon-Whitley Jennifer Lopez Rhianna (Maybe Nigella Lawson or Monica Belucci) #theworstlazy’cook’ever
Having joined two great friends for a lovely dinner last night, and a stimulating conversation about life, love and the world at large, we came to the same somewhat sad conclusión, that each one of us was a bubbling cauldron of hang-ups and emotional inadequacies, a little bit psychologically messy to some degree, in one way or another. […]
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Mum’s are amazing (that’s why I’m not one. I’m magic, but I’m not amazing). And so it’s only fitting that there should be a day that celebrates these wonderful, mystical creatures who do forty thousand jobs a day and keep it together (mostly). The card I […]
Sometimes it’s not easy this writing lark……. and when the wind’s been sucked out of your sails, it’s really difficult to dredge the motivation or find your funny. What’s the secret that successful writer’s possess? Just write something, anything and put it out there? Have a big, rolling wilderness with tumbleweeds, where your blog used to be? […]
Spring is coming, and though absolutely entirely fabulous news, (beach at Easter, don’t mind if I do), it also brings with it the misery of hayfever. “An allergy to hay, miserable? Do you me a favour“, I hear you cry in unison. But it is true. The first three or four weeks of Spring are […]
You have to be possessing of great big, fat coj*nes to email ‘happy birthday’ as a warmer to the following conversation: FP (Flaccid p*nis from two years ago, of the ‘About those p*nises’ post fame): Xxxxxx cxxxxxxx Felicidades AP (me): Gracias FP: Hi, how are you? I am in U………… missing you AP: Are you sure?!? […]
from one of my best friends, so it’s safe to say, she knows me well enough to send it and know that: a) it’s absolutely representative of times we’ve shared, so 100% justified b) that I wouldn’t be offended (and c) that at some point, I have actually looked exactly like the drunken whore on the right, all curly […]
Sometimes you start your Monday by listening to Elbow’s ‘One Day Like This’, the sun is shining, it’s warm and you get a nice surprise. Then you walk around loving life right in it’s face, stupidly grinning at everyone, struggling to resist the urge to skip and click heels together intermittently, as if in a film version of your own life, […]
Without a word of a lie, I know instinctively when there’s a full moon, because I come over all impish and mischievious and plan shenanigans. Having said that however, I still haven’t learnt that one should plan said shenanigans to coincide with when the next full moon is, in order to maintain the levels of enthusiasm needed for all […]
“Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” “Write something funny.” “No, I shan’t.” Angel and devil on my shoulders this week.
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 