WARNING: CONTAINS EMOTIONS Considering that the last royal wedding happened back on the 29th of April 2011, the day after I was made redundant and discovered my boyfriend (who I lived with at the time) had been unfaithful, and that I’m not a big fan of the idea of me getting married again – I […]
The most violent thing I’ve ever done in the wake of rejection, is smash a couple of chocolate bars into my face in two seconds, drink a barrel of wine and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s; and cry myself to sleep so I look like I’ve gone ten rounds with Conor McGregor, the next […]
I’ve been in love these last four weeks. Deep, pure, unadulterated love. I’m intoxicated. The love I feel for my balcony is stronger, I truly believe, than any love I have felt for a partner in all of my days. I’m obsessed, I’m giddy all the time, I have butterflies when I think about it […]
It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when you set your relationship bar, by the high standards of a casual encounter born in a bar in 2015. But that’s exactly what I’ve done. That boy from Toulouse, who was briefly mentioned in my post Dating World Update was wonderful. Sweet, charming, gentlemanly and…….. on and […]
Right, here’s the thing. I’m a disaster, and that’s why it’s a good thing I don’t have kids. ~The end~ Only joking, but not really. Well, not joking about the disaster bit, am joking about ‘the end’ bit. I know people say that when you become a mother, you just do all the stuff and […]
Happy VAGINA day wimmin’! Coz that’s basically all it is, innit? We just want to dominate men, take all their jobs, steal all their money and just like, be the boss of everything and rule the world. Right? *sighs*, Wrong. Well, it’s been quite a year for womankind, hasn’t it? #MeToo and #TimesUp are the […]
Social media. Somewhere, deep in the annals of time (like maybe a thousand years ago), there are hazy memories of shenanigans and japes and underage naughtiness. Of course there are, none of us are angels. And if you claim to be, then I don’t trust you one little bit. I tried my first cigarette at […]
!! EVERYTHING YOU EAT GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR BUM AND YOUR HORMONES MAKE YOUR CHEST GROW UNCONTROLLABLY !! THE END. No, really, here’s how it’s panning out……. Strange things are a happnin’ in ol’ PANKsville, over yonder way….. (for reasons unbeknownst to even me, it appears that I have adopted the persona of a suspicious […]
Seeing most of you at Christmas, and keeping abreast of the rest of you with proud updates from your mums and dads, was like a giant punch in the gut. Oh! Not in a bad way, but y’all getting soooooo big! But let’s focus – more than that, I appreciated this year just what wonderful […]
….. to me, ‘you seem to have very fixed ideas‘, I will kick them so f*cking hard in their crown jewels, they’ll have to start thinking with the brain that lives in their head. In these last three months, I have felt the pressure to just simply keep my mouth firmly shut, more than I […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 