Madonna is sixty. The whole world is watching and listening to see how she will celebrate this milestone. I’m sure the likes of Piers Morgan, Sarah Vine and endless other worldwide detractors are probably lurking in the shadows foaming at the mouth, waiting to pounce on whatever she wears or whatever shenanigans she gets up […]
Today was my last day in work and the glorious summer has well and truly arrived (thirty-one degrees and 60% humidity). My current position is this: starfish, butt naked, litre of iced-water to hand with a couple of strategically placed fans on full blast. I start removing clothing as I’m climbing the stairs to my […]
I’m about to admit a failing. Buckle up. It has been increasingly difficult to write the funny stuff these last two years, when the world appears to be completely engulfed in flames. I’ve written as much and as often as possible, and tried to keep the ol’ pecker up in true Blighty style and not […]
Soooooo, Roseanne Barr flip-flopped on leaving Twitter (one can only assume based on some sort of legal advice), and has returned within about twenty-four hours, with the pathetic excuse; the Ambien made me do it. Let’s just take a moment to dissect this….. actually, let’s not. The racist thoughts are in your head and the […]
Uuuummmm, because I’m good? Thanks. Another week, another sweet-intentioned ( if a tad tiresome) insistence that’s ‘THERE’S STILL TIME!’, to birth that family I somehow overlooked/forgot to have. It basically started with a simple, throw-away, ‘I’m not a mother, but even I know it’s not good to leave your toddler home alone, so that he […]
WARNING: CONTAINS EMOTIONS Considering that the last royal wedding happened back on the 29th of April 2011, the day after I was made redundant and discovered my boyfriend (who I lived with at the time) had been unfaithful, and that I’m not a big fan of the idea of me getting married again – I […]
I’ve been in love these last four weeks. Deep, pure, unadulterated love. I’m intoxicated. The love I feel for my balcony is stronger, I truly believe, than any love I have felt for a partner in all of my days. I’m obsessed, I’m giddy all the time, I have butterflies when I think about it […]
It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when you set your relationship bar, by the high standards of a casual encounter born in a bar in 2015. But that’s exactly what I’ve done. That boy from Toulouse, who was briefly mentioned in my post Dating World Update was wonderful. Sweet, charming, gentlemanly and…….. on and […]
Right, here’s the thing. I’m a disaster, and that’s why it’s a good thing I don’t have kids. ~The end~ Only joking, but not really. Well, not joking about the disaster bit, am joking about ‘the end’ bit. I know people say that when you become a mother, you just do all the stuff and […]
Happy VAGINA day wimmin’! Coz that’s basically all it is, innit? We just want to dominate men, take all their jobs, steal all their money and just like, be the boss of everything and rule the world. Right? *sighs*, Wrong. Well, it’s been quite a year for womankind, hasn’t it? #MeToo and #TimesUp are the […]
The Secret Diary of Anne Pank 