Who, being loved, is poor?

Who indeed.  And who was it who said this?  Why, the inimitable Mr Wilde of course, and as always; he was completely right.  Except not about actual poor people, with or without love they are really, as in the dictionary definition; poor.  No amount of trying to beam amour from your eyes intensely into the […]

Travel tips for PANKS

BOOM!  Copenhagen booked for March……  largely in part to escape from the fact that I will have just become five years away from the big 5 – 0.  Freakin’ out, freakin‘ out, freakin‘ out….. (I foresee this is the way it will be every five years from now until, well, until infinity.)  But also to […]

One Direction??? I mean….

……….what was the point of you.  I didn’t, still don’t understand it.  Any of it. I really I don’t. I’m just going to come out and say it. Here goes…… I’m quite glad that Zayn Malik dropped the bombshell back in March, that signalled the beginning of the end of the most successful boy band […]

How to Be a Nice Sh*thead, Part II

OK chaps, here’s the thing……..  I’m going to impart some wisdom atcha, just for you menfolk, ‘coz I loves ya.  And hopefully to improve your chances of getting laid.  Because I care about your layage and your penis, too.  Maybe not quite so much as you do, quite honestly, but the sentiment is there.  I’m […]

The year so far

Well.  It’s not been the best one has it? I spent hours yesterday, writing a post here, that will never see the light of day.  I decided today, that I did not want to dedícate any space, to the heinous few responsible for the chaos in France over the last few days.  Instead to the huge […]

Reasons why I don’t have kids #38

I would be in a perpetual cycle of bankruptcy (round about this time every year), and recovery (the rest of the year, until Christmas again), until they left home.  Or I died of poordom.   Whichever happened to come first.  My money’s on the latter. But more likely, is that I would buckle under the pressure, […]

If I was Russell Brand’s aunt

Originally posted on The Secret Diary of Anne Pank:
I’d play a game of ‘Let’s see who can stay quiet, the longest’. Russell, sweetheart, it’s time to stop talking. One must know how to recognise that moment when it comes, and accept it. And more than that, one must know one’s limits. And you have…